Have a look at some spiritual teachers on you tube such as Eckart Tolle, Ram Dass, Mooji Baba. Read Eckart Tolles ‘The Power of Now’ All were life changing for me after a traumatic incident in my life. It won’t fix things immediately but it allows you to look at things from a different perspective and find some peace. I hope you can find your own peace and wellbeing. 🙏

divorce is almost tougher than death and way more stressful.

many elements of it are driven by other people’s emotions and are out of your control.

all you can do is be the best person every time you can. living this and knowing this is the only reliable solace you can find. and it can only help outcomes for you and the kids.

hang in there bigga

Ah mate I hate to hear all that, don't give up fighting in general - it's the fight that keeps us going.
Try changing your routine, get playing a sport and/or get to the gym, different diet, find new hobbies and other people who enjoy the same interests as you.
As others have said regarding your children, they will find out how hard you have been trying once they get old enough to realise that their mother has been using them as a weapon. This will go in your favour, stay strong brother.

Sorry to hear that and Most biggas have made some excellent points - Just to re-iterate what I did when I went through something similar:

Identified and listed the areas of Control...where I can input.

Detach from the outcome ...it's not that you don't care but rather you know there is no control but you still care ...so by taking action where you can You (your control) ALWAYS remind yourself that it's effort your putting in to see your kids.

Do not beat yourself for uncontrollable events....cuz if it's under your control then you would have done something... Especially when others tell you otherwise

Practice Gratitude (@least 5-things your are grateful)...please do this properly with the feeling of gratitude (or try generating @first)

Finally Cold showers, mediation and breathing before all mediation or cold showers
-Vipasana Technique
-Alternativr Nostril breathing
- Spinal breathing
-Bellows breathing
-WinHoff method

I would say start with one and carry on until you get bored then switch but consistently perform one of the breathing technique everyday

If you are smoking marijuana lot I would say cut it down 2-joints max and Micro dosing shrooms will also help

I have been doing this for now almost 19-mknths ....and I have a 2-hour wake up routine.. encompasses the above mentioned

Hope all the best buddy and I hope you find peace within yourself and with your kids & family soon🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

So many kind and wise comments here :-)

I would add:

It's okay to feel despairing sometimes, it's important to acknowledge that. Just try to not let that consume you, or be all that you can feel. There will be other parts of you that don't feel that way - can you access them too?

What's your support network? Who do you have around you that you can talk to, and who will really listen? If there isn't anyone, then explore ways to make meaningful connections.

Try journalling, every day, raw and unfiltered. Get some of the feelings out. Rant and rage, on the page. Gratitude and self-compassion practice.

Meditate. Prioritise sleep and movement, eat well. Find things that bring you joy, that give you energy.

Build a life for yourself that isn't contingent on you getting access to your kids (while acknowledging that it's incredibly important to you).

Take the best care of yourself that you can - you deserve it and are worth it.

And don't smoke too much ;-)

Hang on in there my friend, you are a very important part of those kids lives even if you are not with them we know its hard to stay strong but all you can do its control what you can control.
Focus on the things you can only do even if that means only you showing up in the long run your efforts will bare fruit in the end.

Stay Strong

ynm

Stop throwing money into it. Be more selfish and focus purely on yourself If the mother is literally withholding your children from you. It sounds like you love them so they will want to see you one day, especially when their mother has no say in what they do.

What ever happens buddy, don't get to braking point. Don't do anything stupid just keep pushing on till you find something that makes you feel a bit better about stuff. Whatever is happening now is only temporary and your kids will make their own decisions as they grow up. I'm sure your kids will just be happy that your alive and hopefully healthy. No idea of your schedule but find a distraction like going gym if you don't already or something physical to burn energy and release endorphins.

I can only offer advice not that i have any idea of how I'd handle your situation, but i know i'd need a distraction. I hope you see your kids soon 🙏

full lockdown when the plague arrives

The barbarians might have finished them off but the Romans did it to themselves. Extraordinary powers given to an Augustus wind up producing a Caligula.

Same as us, direct democracy would buy some time

Not have used lead pipes for water.

I've always wondered about a time line where as Christians they see the immorality of slavery and we wind up with an industrial revolution a thousand years earlier :)

I think they saved lots with Constantinople and Christianity. We still use a lot of their language today and even arts, law and engineering.

live by the mercenary die by the mercenary

Division, local government and ownership with a light tax and shared education of all resources to expand eveloution with a shared and joint destination... Hindsight is a beautiful thing thou

Buddies for Proconsul!

We are still in the Roman Empire, only the 2nd coming, the International one which spans across the continents. The Romans never lost, neither the ££££s.....
This is the future boys, complete fucked up western existence

The West is the best

By making a Catholic Church

cool spot can i ask where it is?

They went down hill when they embraced Christianity
Constantine is to blame, cunt

F The Popes - F The Vatican

We are living in it right now - Vatican rules this realm. Burn Babylon.

Hi friend, without canna right now so clear head.
So sorry to hear the news, i've had many pets and a beloved family member pass in my arms.
My father passed of cancer and it was pretty quick.
I stayed with him at his place and the first night i balled a little in front of him which was wrong.
Balling your eyes out helps but don't do it in your father's presence.
I dunno if you believe in God but now is the time to start praying, pray for your father and pray for strength for yourself to get through this.
You need to do things together, create memories as these ones will last.
Ask him about things in the past you're unsure or unaware of, try get to know him better.
Be his little helper, nhs is woke nowadays, you and family /friends must fill his heart with love and comfort.
Do all you can for him, give him a big hug and don't let go, kiss him and tell him how much you love him.
Just cry, cry your eyes out and ball to the heavens. music is a healer also. Try getting out in nature with him, away from the modern heartless way of things we find ourselves in nowadays.
Take care my friend. God Bless.

well said!! @ddboom! op so so sorry to hear the horrid news. All i can say is take small daily steps. Your not alone in this and spend as much time as you can whilst you can with your dad. Good luck my friend and never forget your not alone!!!!!

Hey buddy,

You won’t need to be religious to read The Tibetan Book Of Living & Dying (on Amazon). It’s a very important book that focuses on how we can help and support the dying so they have dignity, calm and peace. It frames the event of death in a deep, timeless and sensitive way for all concerned and is designed to help everyone in a practical way. Even if the spiritual teachings of Bhuddism are not for you, it’s designed to be a help for everyone. I hope it can be for you and your father too….

I lost my father to cancer 6 years ago. I don't know about your dad, but I know that mine hated it when people wrapped him up in cotton wool. Cancer sucks, and you should cherish every moment you can, but it's not in the least bit selfish or unkind to also live your life. I struggled with a ton of guilt for similar reasons though, so easier said than done.

My thoughts are with your father.

I’m really sorry to hear this.

I'm not sure how old your post is - so I hope this is still useful advice - but speaking with a helpline can make a huge difference.

They will understand the issues you’re facing - without judgement - and are likely to offer both emotional support and practical advice.

Using them as a sounding board, and being able to offload or vent, can make it a little easier to decide which 'way is right’ and can help find ways to manage these shitty circumstances.

Helplines are there for exactly these reasons.

You’re not somehow being annoying for calling. They want you to call, so do reach out if you think it might help.

Personal experience means I really know the difference they can make, and Marie Curie’s helpline may be a good option for you - 0800 090 2309

I hope this helps a little

I am so sorry to hear about the news brother, stay strong for your dad and make the most of the time you have. BBDoom couldn't have put it better, so much good advice in 1 message.

It may sound silly but ask him what he would prefer in terms of your time, it will take a tiny bit off your mind and maybe his too.

Heart goes out to you, my chats always open if you just want to vent or anything.

death resets every mind it touches, each has its own way of accepting this data.

Sorry to hear the bad news, don’t drop everything but let ur “boss” (who ever that may be) know and suggest you’d like to a little extra time off compassionate leave don’t ask tell them. nothing worst than regret mate. just go and enjoy ur time even if you sit doing nothing.

Hi dear friend have you tried working with psychedelics to assist with this difficult time

Gut health and brain health are linked in a bunch of ways, I've been reading a bit about it, there's millions of nerves connecting the gut and brain, the gut is producing most of our serotonin which directly affects our moods, they've linked poor gut health to Alzheimer's and possibly other mental health conditions recently too so there's more than a few direct connections.

I read about the vagus nerve and what it does, it's like a little caretaker for our whole nervous system, regulating everything, that can be damaged by stomach ulcers and when damaged can cause all sorts of problems, I guess i'm wondering with all these direct links between gut and brain whether we're actually feeling something that's sending very real signals but signals we don't understand properly?

...or I might've just smoked too much, its possible, the bong has been out!

Ah, my dear biggaz, let’s embark on a whimsical journey into the realms of the gut and the mysterious phenomenon of premonition, shall we? Now, picture this: your gut, that marvellous little organ, is not just a mere digestive powerhouse. No, no! It’s a veritable hub of intuition, a second brain, if you will.

You see, the gut is lined with what we call the enteric nervous system, which is a complex network of neurons that communicates with the brain. This connection, my friends, is more profound than we often realise. It’s as if your belly is whispering secrets to your mind, guiding you through the murky waters of existence. When we talk about premonition, we’re often delving into that uncanny ability to sense what’s coming — a sort of psychic foresight, if you like.

Now, imagine your gut reacting to stimuli before your conscious mind has had the chance to process it. Ever had that feeling in your stomach before a big event, like a wedding, or perhaps a precarious encounter with a person you’re not quite sure about? That’s your gut’s way of alerting you, a signal that something’s afoot! It’s a primal response, honed over millennia, an evolutionary gift that keeps us attuned to danger or opportunity.

So, in essence, when we talk about premonition, we’re tapping into that raw, instinctual knowledge that our bodies possess. The gut is like a finely tuned instrument, picking up vibrations from the universe, translating them into feelings, sensations, and sometimes — just sometimes — a flash of insight about what’s to come. Listen to it, my darlings! Your gut may just be your most trusted oracle, steering you through the unpredictable tides of life with a knowing nod and a cheeky wink.

In conclusion, the gut and premonition are intertwined in a dance of intuition and instinct. So, next time you feel a flutter in your belly, remember: it could be the universe whispering its secrets, urging you to pay attention. Embrace it, and let the gut guide you!

This happened to me so many times. It always freaked me out, when I would think back to it and that flutter feeling, right before whatever happened after it.

I think it's your limbic system, that connects your heart and stomach to your brain. Heart felt feelings, gut feelings.
I might be wrong!

It truly is the solar plexus chakra ;)

It truly is the solar plexus chakra ;)

I found hemphash website to be quite good. The premium stuff comes at a price but some of the best cbd bud I’ve had. Acdc, gorilla mandarin and Chardonnay were all surprisingly good. Also lost oak farms but they are in the US so have to ship over. I had no problems but its possible it’ll get stopped at boarder. Great prices though!

Hope your friend finds relief!!

There are a few CBD stores in the internet.

HempElf has flowers and many more extracts etc as an example ,worth taking a look.


Not sure about prices/competitiveness .sure other biggas can suggest similar sites,or sellers on here.

Hope you get sorted

Yeah, have used Hempelf alot, always fair prices, big range too

The Cheesemaster has CBD bud and bud with a 1:1 THC to CBD ratio. I've never used them but have heard great things from other trusted Biggas. Might be worth dropping them a message to see what they can recommend.

Other than that, they're are plenty of 'legit' UK sites selling CBD buds and hash, some of which are really potent in my experience.

yoo check auntmarysflowers!! not on lb but nicest cbd flower I've found at decent prices and they've got a 40% discount on few strains atm <3

Have a look at originalscbd, they import Flow gardens type 3 flower from the US.

try playing white noise to escape, you can adjust this 1 to something that works

Cheers Ike been interesting playing around with that . might end up putting it on a raspberry pi & let it play in the background

I’ve had tinnitus for about ten years now, was a nightmare at first but after a while you won’t hear it as much you just get used to it. Rain and white noise apps really help, have it on every night now or in the background whilst I’m working. Apparently there is an operation they can do on your ear to try and fix it but was told it was more likely to do further damage.

Do you find that smoking makes it louder lol it's going mad right now

Definitely agree with ike, white noise or I found rain sounds just as good when trying to sleep. you might have to have it on a bit louder than you think but you’ll find your level. Good luck

Visit your GP. They'll refer to ENT. There's not much of a rush with it though unless it's like a heartbeat in your ear along with tinnitus which is what they call Pulsating tinnitus. If it unilateral they refer to ENT too. Could be due to wax build up or if you've been to any concerts recently etc. I find pink noise works for me.

Trying to get an appointment but can't get past the hard dogs
No concerts no loud music or anything that I can think of . I have pink noise on now while playing cod & even play it with no sound at times . have ordered a few different ear plugs for sleeping

My mates Dad. He's late 60s and has always had at least 1 before bed. He ran 2 pubs all his life too. His parents are both amazing people and would do anything for anyone. My mate would often come to Glasto with some stuff his Dad gave him and it was always fire.

Willy Nelson is 90

I'm 70, blazed since I was 17. Not the oldest on here 8) Grew in the 70s, visited the usual green grow countries. Herb vape only now!

I’ve got a old friend who smokes daily has done since youth! and sells green still. His health isn’t great now because he smokes fags too. He’s 68

Is 68 old?😳😂

Im 64, been at it since I was 16

Brilliant!…what’s his all time favourite strain?…

this guy claims a record at 96, not sure how long after this article he kept going

I detect a certain look if I have started to talk total bollocks. And I may not be quite as funny as I think I am….apparently!😳

My boyfriend thinks I’m much more smarter when I’m high

Lol

This is scarily close to my experience too 😂

Almost definitely 😆 i am much easier to deal with when I’m chilled the fuck out!!

Me and my partner could have the craziest argument and not talk for days 😭 but if we have a spliff after we make up there and then 😇

I think the whole family does. I suspect it helps with my suspected neurodivergence/whatever the hell my parents tried to beat out of me and makes me a lot calmer, more focused and playful.

This is kind of my experience 👍

Even when I was young(18) it was referred to by older peeps as ‘the thinker’.

Well she prefers me when SHE is a bit too stoned ;-)

I have ADHD and se definitely prefer me a bit stoned. I can see se is concerned when I’m running out of green 😂

There is a fine line between being hilarious and not funny at all.
I reach this threshold regularly, all the time in fact.

Only if I'm not driving.

Second thoughts - she always hates my driving😬🙄😁

My wife, kids and friends and even myself like me way more when I m high. I do it for them.

I just lay out the options- You want me delicate (unstoned) or oblivious? Your call.

We're both stoners and she likes having someone to smoke with. Me I'll smoke alone and appreciate the silence 😂

My ex verbally dressed mr down once with ‘ yes you but yourself flowers all the time-don’t you?’
I just kept it shut.
Checkmate.

Not sure she prefers me high. Suppose I’m a lot more chilled. Like polly said tho I tend to think I’m hilarious! When in reality I’m probably not! Plus she’s a non smoker so lol

only 1 problem here

I don't even prefer me a bit stoned lol, I tend to just smoke on my down time or when I know I've gotta WFH all day. That's just me tho! To each their own

She doesn't really like me smoking, but likes that I'm chilled. Catch 22

Yeap

The time period after my GCSE's. Innocent but not so innocent. No responsibilities except selling weed, chasing girls and playing football

Exactly this lol I can never forget that year, GSCE finish early so nice long summer, completely free doing the stuff you mentioned

The "stoned" age 😋💭💭💭

this bigga

Brilliant :)

Bronze age

yeah but then the skin cancer age

Honestly? Probably like 2 years ago when my current relationship was the best thing ever. It's rough now and I would give anything to have that back

16, one year before the last year of high school. Living in Switzerland during summer, eating mushroom chocolates, hitting bongs of Swiss Dank, swimming in Bodensea and being lost beyond belief. Ahh, the Swiss dream... :)

Late 90s

Hey Family,

Would definitely repeat years between 20-25, probably been the most naughtiest would happily repeat it again :)).

Peace and Respect

I thought I was 27 for 3 years - woke up on my 30th birthday and was completely ok with that. Just didn't fancy 28 & 29 that's all 🙄

16. No doubt. 1996. Just finished my GCSE’s. Was in the 1st 11 school football team and we’d won the Surrey cup. Had a beautiful girlfriend who was that teenage first love. Brilliant football summer with Euro 96, (Sheringham, shearer and Gazza). Being British felt awesome (not like it does now). Amazing music. Massive oasis fan and knebworth was about to happen. All my mates together with their girlfriends. Drinking, smoking fags and soap bar ;) Had got into rave and hardcore and went to lots of little rave house parties. Absolutely magical. It’s my absolute happy golden place.

When I was 12, I had a 10 week break between going to middle school and secondary.

I lived on a new estate still being built among the woods, so there was plenty of material laying about for building dens, and plenty of unfinished buildings to climb on or mess about in.

We built fires and cooked sausages, drank the odd beer, smoked the odd fag and handed around dirty magazines. We genuinely thought we were the shit 😂.

The dens never lasted long as they either got pulled down by locals or rival kids, but that was all part of the fun. I even managed my first kiss and fondle that summer.

Now…the past is the past,I’ll always enjoy life now,know matter what’s happening even though I’m early fifties 😄

Me too I just turned 51 on Sunday. Sending love x

Yeah me too 51👍
Keep well mate.

The minute I grew up and found out the cruelty of the real world was the minute the fun stopped.

I know that sounds heavy and I always answer these types of questions like this, I got diagnosed as Diabetic when I was 11, mum died , up until I was 17 my dad and me were bumping heads and I hated it (not linked to my mum I was adopted my birth mum died) I had times after where good stuff happened but I feel like I got dragged through maturity quickly because loads of stuff went to shit because of bad luck In life, my dad used to get pissed and just rent every night about needing to grow up and make money, came in the night before my 13th birthday bladdered and went “you’ve got copied video games for your birthday you’re a man now so do you need to do silly birthdays ?” And it went on from there.

Struggled hard as a kid, was very clever but could NOT wrap my head around things and did what I could, got to uni after winging it for years and failed miserably, went from hated job to hated job and here I am now at 31.

Got my own mortgage , beautiful amazing wife and a baby due in 3 months but I’ve had a wall in front of me for so many things for years that I’ve never been able to explain or get past, the depression for the last 12 years where no treatment, meds or CBT has helped has made me so cynical, jaded and overall angry and disappointed with myself.

I looked at a diagnosis for ADHD in my early 20s and got dismissed as a young man after Ritalin and after 11 YEARS on the NHS register with nothing and 4 on two private lists I was finally diagnosed 2 months ago and started medication ten days ago.

Decided to tell my dad about it last night he linked a daily Mail article saying it’s a myth so I spent two hours disproving everything that article said and he basically just said “You’re fine as you are you’re just anxious “ I’m not anxious.

So the meds are supposed to be working now but you can’t mix it with other stimulants like coffee and I drink about 4 pints of coffee or energy drinks a day to stay awake, same for weed apparently conflicts with the tablets which I smoke daily and alcohol (drink when I get the chance to feel chill).

So even though I’m on meds and titration to see what dose works for me I’m drinking on holiday, was assigned them maybe last Monday? Had to get my Bichon put down on Tuesday he had kidney failure and it came out of nowhere and because he was so silly and daft still it broke my heart to watch the life leave his eyes even if it was the right thing to do, so I’ve got grief, depression and drinking all on at the go when I’m meant to be seeing if these tablets stop me losing my temper at the smallest change.

Sorry for ranting, this wasn’t even the question I’ve just listed off everything wrong with life. Just needed to get it off my chest it’s been brutal lately.

My answer though, probably 17 to early 20s. First time getting my feet out into the world, I was a little geek until I was about 15 until I started coming out of my shell and really capitalised on that from 17 haha tried a lot of new things did a lot of new stuff but ultimately I wouldn’t relive any of it, just trying to do my best now for the sake of my soon to be daughter and don’t want to be freaking out because I can’t handle her crying so meds it is.

It’s funny, they were only really prescribed at this crucial point because if I hadn’t had meds at this point (been getting told for 6 months it’s a few weeks away) my fear of not being equipped to be a man let alone a dad would have probably been causing me to have a mental breakdown at this point.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m asking for pity, I’m not I’ve survived this long and will keep surviving but I think all your choices in life have clearly led us to where we are now, and even though I’d love to be back getting a blowjob and a stripe and feeling like I’d finally gotten free, the lessons I’ve learned from them have taught me some very important life lessons.

Cheers

Mate. Sounds like you've got lots on and are spooning out about becoming a dad. Take a breath, it'll all be good. Help your wife with the practical things so she can concentrate on the baby and everything else will follow. My dad's a cunt and it made me a great dad. You'll be grand.

your best years are ahead of you with that family of your own bigga.

1995 young free single and no children. Going to the Arches and sub club,my weekend started on a Thursday and finished on a Sunday afternoon.Dancing for hours on end not a care in the world.Good memories of crazy weekends Always saying never again but always back out Thursday night

Mate a loved sub club and the arches ❤️❤️

When I was 14 some local flats were getting demolished and me and friends went there everyday for the summer the holidays I think for two years actually it took so long we had free run of the place broke through the roof and everything lol

Honestly, it's hard to pick. Life is unique, precious and fragile. We can't go back, only forward. So, I'd say now, purely because we've made it to the fucking future!

For me personally, I'd go back to a time before My kids had been brainwashed against me. So maybe 4-5 years ago, was a happier time for me. I took it for granted and life made me pay the price hard. 4 years later and 1 run through family court I'm still at square one.

Honestly, I'd give anything to have my kids back, but I am starting to accept I probably never will and one day I'll be fine with that, just not today.

Big love biggas 💚

theres always a square 2 bigga or maybe even a (family) circle, love and time can do that

Back to '82.... I'd take state!

Just after GCSEs finished. I spent quality time just having fun with little consquence.

4-11... no responsibilities, loads of family and good friends around and I could play and daydream all day without consequence 🙃

Right now. Love living in the present, feeling grateful for every moment that we experience 🙏🏼💚