Hello, I am in my mid 20's.
With where I live and everyone I went to school with, I have never received, seen, or know of a beating or "physical punishment" my entire life. When it came to discipline in our house, it was either being grounded, toys being taken away, time out, stay outstide in the garden. This was very effective for me as I lose something that occupies my time and gives me joy. For my sister it was a lot harder. Her behaviour seemed to remain the same of being a terror spoilt child and it wasn't stopping, my mum was threatening her with military school and that seemed to change her. My sister had a habit of making every punishment a treat. Sell her toys? Good, she likes the space. Send her to the garden for not eating food? Good, she will play in the garden. Every punishment didn't work. But when threatened to join a military school, that was something that couldn't lead to a fun alternative.
My mum got smacked on the backside if she fooled around, stole, or didn't do chores. I even asked my mum about this and she thinks that giving your child a smack is what you do to a child that is spoilt, never gets punished or never takes punishment seriously, and is bullying kids at school.
My dad on the other hand, his father can die underneath a jail cell. His step father is more of a father and man than that guy will ever be and I have never nor wanted to meet him. Only the oldest brother in my dads family was the only one who remained in contact. The rest of the family wanted nothing to do with him and reject him. My father hated him so much that he left the home at 16, denounced him as a father and didn't talk to or see him since.
Personally. If my dad or mum resorted to hitting me to correct my behaviour, then I wouldn't want to see them again and if I did i'd end up getting violent. But that's simply because I was a good kid in a sense? Like I said for my previous writing, taking something away from me was enough punishment enough and I really didn't know why. Only to find out in my adult hood that I have ADHD and mild autism, so taking away my computer was literally leaving me like a brainless zombie waiting for the days to end and I didn't want that to happen anymore so my behaviour corrected really easily after punishment.
I currently have the most loving best family in the world, they are everything to me, they come first, they were always there and believed in what I do and my life. There is no bad blood or trauma and I think that my parents parenting was the best way to do it for me.
In terms of being "soft". I don't really know what that means. If we are talking about never fighting back or letting people use you. Then i'm gonna be honest, I learnt more about bullies and how to handle them from prison movies like Mean Machine. First year in my school if someone tried to step up to me for what ever reason, i'd gladly start fighting. And then I won't get in any fights for the rest of my time in school. Its okay to lose a fight or what ever, its just about showing the bully and everyone else that you WILL fight back if fucked with, you ain't gonna be an easy target. My last fight was on the first year of high school at age 11, haven't been in a fight since.
Personally don't want kids, I think I would be too frustated and would result to quick methods to make them sleep, behave, eat food, anything. I'm even struggling to make sure my life is in order and everything is okay, adding a child for mandatory looking after for at least 18 years is not something I wanna sign up for.
I can't really give a one sided answer on if disciplining your kids is a yes or no solution. Imma just say its complicated and requires a lot of factors for each family as to why they do or don't do it and how it effected the child.