Hello brethren,
It’s me, Ship. I’ve not been on for a while as life has just been absolutely crazy lately and I’m actually smoking less weed than ever.
My beautiful wife gave birth to our beautiful daughter yesterday and I’m currently ‘chilling’ in the hospital, she was ten days early which sounds about right.
Now I’m going to tell you about something that happened last month that will definitely make you laugh/make you cringe for me.
Anyone who’s read anything I’ve posted here knows my tolerance for weed is very high and all I’ve done since getting on LB is try to chase a high to get through the hustle and bustle of a complicated life.
Got in touch with a vendor not from here who sells Rice Krispy square edibles, 450mg each and £5 each, I thought damn that’s amazing value for money bare in mind I’ve eaten 500mg of sweets and edibles from here and only had a very small background high two hours later. They bake the edibles themselves and this lot were filled with distillate, he’d made them 560mg by accident but let me know.
So here’s how things went down, the night before I’d gone to my mates for a smoke we were 2 blunts and 2 joints in and my mate turned up with some rolled so I had some of them.
I don’t smoke tobacco, always smoked my weed as it comes because every time I smoke cigs I get bifter buzz and end up vomiting, cue 20 mins later and I’m upstairs heaving up the lovely carbonara we’d made at home.
Next day I’m angry, I’ve got work and once again a bug smoking session and not only did I not get high I ended up screwing myself up.
It’s Monday the cakes turned up I’m working from home I’ll eat a full one and see how I go. Cut forward 20 mins later, I’m on an empty stomach and having a joint and start feeling it so I stopped smoking and was like damn that was fast. This is where the story gets bad.
I go upstairs, look at my PC and my eyes just zoom in I was like oh snap these must be the real deal. I start getting high, uncomfortably high, and this starts escalating from the 20 minute mark and over the next hour and a half at no point does it slow down.
I’m like shit it’s 9am I’m meant to be working and my head is about to fall off, my wife texts me “Invite your sister the baby shower”. Every time I text my sister even when I say I’m working she calls me, I said don’t call me I’m working I get called and ignore it.
Then I get a text “it’s important, I need you to speak to a social worker”. I answer the call and speak to a social worker, there’s been an incident with my niece and they needed to give me as little info as possible but said I’m the person my sister has designated as someone she trusts (high as fuck on a Monday morning before work) and that I’ll have to come to a meeting, I can’t go into the specifics but they wanted to ask if I’d be able to ‘help the family’ if the child had to be taken away for a while.
I’m looking in the mirror high as a fucking kite absolutely shitting myself, got a baby due in a month and now I might have to foster my niece, at that point I hit white. I’m vomiting everywhere, while working, waiting for social workers calls with information.
I ring my wife and tell her, long story short I manage to sort it out ( went to a court hearing as her representative it all ended up sorted weeks later) and I’m like fuck me how did this happen.
I got ten of these edibles, a week later had half of one - hit white again. Two days later 1/3 or one -hit white again! I’ve had 8 edibles untouched in the shed for weeks because I’m terrified to try one, I found something inexpensive that truly gets me high and realised I’d been chasing something I straight up didn’t want.
I must have had about ten joints since then where normally I smoke 3 a day.
All sorted now but seriously that is terrible luck.
Hope you’re all doing well, inwards to fatherhood