‘Fucking winner, hans is back on little biggy’ i said to my missus a couple of weeks ago.
My wife, a non smoker who occassionally likes a coherent husband, expressed her excitement at this news by rolling her eyes and tutting at me.
Since then, ive spent a bit of time counting down the days to payday, by browsing hans’ menu. There were a good 4 or 5 strains in contention, and then the ‘Guavalato’ popped up. I’d heard rumours about this strain from a friend who smokes so much weed that his internal organs are probably caked in crystals by now, and those rumours were good. So, with a heavy heart, i discarded my previous choices, and plumped for the Guavalato, and (more about that later), the Grapeolotti.
Next day delivery is, as ever next day, and, as usual, came, unuspiciously, with 5 layers of stealth.
Opening the 4th layer with excitement was a bad idea as within about 10 seconds the entire house smelt of sweet, cloying greenery. Cue the moaning from the wife.
Both strains weighed in at a healthy 0.2g overweight. The Guavalato was in usual form, very tight, well cured, in nugs between 0.3 and 0.8g. Smell is amazing. Very fruity although i wouldnt have identified it as guava neccessarily. Ground up VERY easily, and once inside the j, the smell was still pretty pungent. No rolling up one of these and popping it in a fag packet discreetly for a night out, thats for sure.
The last gelato based strain i bought off hans, was the gelato 45 which remains my all time favourite purchase. At almost half the price of that, this isn’t as smooth, but does carry that distinctive gelato flavour, just with a tropical kick to it. Very pleasant indeed.
Effects wise, its a belter. Hans has described this well - the Sativa effect was pretty much instant, very buzzy for a hybrid, and i could feel that ‘high’ all the way through my body. It peaked after about an 20 minutes from the first toke, at the back end of the joint, and at that point, i was wondering if there was any indica effects to it at all. I felt dissapointed by this - i’m someone who loves my indica and is a bit meh about sativa, but another 20 minutes on, the bodyload started. I moved from chair to sofa, sitting to sprawling to lying, as the indica wave (wave is a really good description as it hit me in stages) washed over me. I loaded up civ 6 ok the ps5 and managed one turn, before i felt like harry potter had jammed his wand up my bum and cast a sleep spell.
Potent. A banger. There was a moment as the sativa moved into indica where it really peaked and i was properly fucked, but it subsided reasonably quickly as the bodystone came on. Would go for a repeat purchase but not sure it’ll be around long, and rightly so. Hans is back, and in top form, no question.
