Did you know that people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones..... but people in Abu Dhabi do
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joined sep 2022
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1 topic on Plantasia
14 posts by Plantasia
1 post
+6 votes
BEST JOKE
Cop asks the guy, “How high are you?” The guy responded with, “No, officer. It’s ‘Hi, how are you.
BEST JOKE
I've just boxed up two x 3.5 baked in Paris
Whoever tells the best joke today will get a Henry and will be able to choose their favourite joke and award the other 8th their favourite.
Mite even have few runner up prizes.
Let's bring some laughs and positivity today guys
Whoever tells the best joke today will get a Henry and will be able to choose their favourite joke and award the other 8th their favourite.
Mite even have few runner up prizes.
Let's bring some laughs and positivity today guys
I was considering a geography pun, but on second thought there's Norway I'd go Oslo as that.
Farmer walks into the bedroom where his wife is in bed and he has got a sheep under his arm.
He says: “This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache”
She says: “That’s a sheep”
He says: “I was talking to the sheep”
🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖😁😉
He says: “This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache”
She says: “That’s a sheep”
He says: “I was talking to the sheep”
🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖😁😉
Cop asks the guy, “How high are you?” The guy responded with, “No, officer. It’s ‘Hi, how are you.
The other day a woman described me as a looker.... well 'voyeur' was the actual word she used... 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤣🤣🤣
Abit on the dark side but it’s a comp so..
Why did hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill
Why did hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill
Woman goes into a bar, orders a double entendre
So the barman gives her one.
My favourite word is 'many', it means a lot to me.
An Imam, a Vicar, and a rabbit go to give blood
doctor looks at the rabbit, and asks 'what blood type are you?'
Rabbit say 'I'm type O'
So the barman gives her one.
My favourite word is 'many', it means a lot to me.
An Imam, a Vicar, and a rabbit go to give blood
doctor looks at the rabbit, and asks 'what blood type are you?'
Rabbit say 'I'm type O'
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One was called Justin and the other was called Christian. Life was good, except that the prawns were constantly being chased and threatened by sharks. Finally one day, Justin said to Christian, "I'm tired of being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten."
Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swam off, afraid of being eaten up by his old friend.
Time went by and Justin found himself bored and lonely as a shark. All his old pals were afraid of him and swam away whenever he came near. Then one day he was out swimming and saw the mysterious cod.
"I want to be a prawn again," said Justin. "Please change me back!" And lo and behold, the cod changed him back to a prawn. With tears of joy in his little eyes, Justin swam to Christian's house and knocked on the door. "It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me!" he shouted.
"No," said Christian. "I'll not be tricked. You're a shark and you will eat me!"
Justin cried back, "No, I'm not! That was the old me. I've changed. I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"
Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swam off, afraid of being eaten up by his old friend.
Time went by and Justin found himself bored and lonely as a shark. All his old pals were afraid of him and swam away whenever he came near. Then one day he was out swimming and saw the mysterious cod.
"I want to be a prawn again," said Justin. "Please change me back!" And lo and behold, the cod changed him back to a prawn. With tears of joy in his little eyes, Justin swam to Christian's house and knocked on the door. "It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me!" he shouted.
"No," said Christian. "I'll not be tricked. You're a shark and you will eat me!"
Justin cried back, "No, I'm not! That was the old me. I've changed. I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"
So I took a poll recently... and 100% of people were quite annoyed that their tent had fallen down 🤣🤣🤣✌️🍁
Jimmy Saville, Stuart Hall and Fred Talbot walk into an irish bar.
barman says "oh no, not yew tree again!"
barman says "oh no, not yew tree again!"
Two elderly ladies sitting on a park bench. Guy comes over and flashes his dick. One of the ladies had a stroke, the other couldn't quite reach.
Hi all 👍 Check this joke out 🤣🧐......
A teacher attempts to teach 3rd graders about the human body, so she shows a drawing of the male reproductive organ and asks the class what it is.
One of her students, Bobbie, answers: “I know. My father has two.”
Teacher: “Really? How does he have two?”
Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”🤣🤣🤣
A teacher attempts to teach 3rd graders about the human body, so she shows a drawing of the male reproductive organ and asks the class what it is.
One of her students, Bobbie, answers: “I know. My father has two.”
Teacher: “Really? How does he have two?”
Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”🤣🤣🤣
I was visiting the US and wanted to get some solid one afternoon. I called the nearest marijuana dispensary and got this recorded message… “If you want to buy marijuana press the hash key now.”
Why are pirates called pirates?
Cos they arrrgggh.
Where do pirates shop at Xmas?
Arrrgggos
Cos they arrrgggh.
Where do pirates shop at Xmas?
Arrrgggos
A binman turns up at some blokes door.
"Where's your bin mate?"
The man says "I just bin to the toilet"
Binman says "No mate, where's your dustbin?"
The man replies "I told you, I dustbin to the toilet"
Binman says "cmon mate where's your wheelie bin??"
Man says "OK,OK, I wheelie bin having a wank" 🍆
"Where's your bin mate?"
The man says "I just bin to the toilet"
Binman says "No mate, where's your dustbin?"
The man replies "I told you, I dustbin to the toilet"
Binman says "cmon mate where's your wheelie bin??"
Man says "OK,OK, I wheelie bin having a wank" 🍆
Holy fuck. I'm sat smoking and dieing now. Holy Jesus balls!! Cough cough pass to myself cough cough
Feeling a bit on edge smoking in my garden today - my neighbour's turned his house into a Rehab Centre.
At least I think he has. There's a new sign on his front garden that says "Keep off the grass"
At least I think he has. There's a new sign on his front garden that says "Keep off the grass"
Giving it an hour then choosing a winner guy's.
It's close between 3 of you cheeky chappies.
Then the winner chooses their favourite joke ok.
It's close between 3 of you cheeky chappies.
Then the winner chooses their favourite joke ok.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
A clown showed up late for work on his first day and got sacked from the circus.
He's suing them for funfair dismissal.
He's suing them for funfair dismissal.
When I have a hot date, I like to get them to help me to choose some wine for dinner beforehand. It's a great way to get them into my basement and I only have to cook for myself then.
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a baguette in a cage!?!?
Apparently it was bread in captivity 🥁
Apparently it was bread in captivity 🥁
- Doctor Doctor I can’t stop wrapping myself in Cling Film!
- Well I can clearly see your nuts!
- Well I can clearly see your nuts!
A duck walks into a pub. He goes up the bar and the barman says "Hello mate, what can I get you?" "Got any bread?" asks the duck. "Sorry we don't sell bread." came the reply. The duck thinks for a moment "Hhhmmmm... Got any bread?" The barman says again, this time slightly short "No, we don't sell bread." "Ok... In that case... Got any bread?"
The barman is now getting angry and shouts "Listen you fucking stupid duck, I've told you twice and now a third time WE DON'T SELL BREAD! If you ask me for fucking bread again, I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?" asks the duck.
"NOOO! I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS!"
"Got any bread?"
The barman is now getting angry and shouts "Listen you fucking stupid duck, I've told you twice and now a third time WE DON'T SELL BREAD! If you ask me for fucking bread again, I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?" asks the duck.
"NOOO! I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS!"
"Got any bread?"
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't let a lentil on my face, but I would let a chick pea
I wouldn't let a lentil on my face, but I would let a chick pea
Little Jimmy goes to see his priest and says “ Father, I don’t believe in Jesus any more. Every night I pray for a new bike and every morning? No bike!”.
The priest replies “ Ah, young James. That’s not how prayer in the Catholic Church works. What you need to do is go out and steal a bike then pray for forgiveness”.
The priest replies “ Ah, young James. That’s not how prayer in the Catholic Church works. What you need to do is go out and steal a bike then pray for forgiveness”.
Dunno if you can handle my jokes but ill try you with one and see how it goes .
Little jenny comes home from school and says
Dad dad can i go to the disco friday ?
Dad answers i suppose so but only if you suck my cock !!
Jenny replys oh ffs if i have to ..
1 min later she stops and says dad this really tastes like shit..
Dad replys yeah your brother asked half hour ago .
Little jenny comes home from school and says
Dad dad can i go to the disco friday ?
Dad answers i suppose so but only if you suck my cock !!
Jenny replys oh ffs if i have to ..
1 min later she stops and says dad this really tastes like shit..
Dad replys yeah your brother asked half hour ago .
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
I just bought some shoes from a dealer, I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day!
Too late for the comp, but sometimes reality is just....well....you couldn't make it up eh? 🤣
A former heavyweight boxer from Montenegro was charged by the U.S. Department of Justice on Monday with trafficking in 22 tons of cocaine worth over $1 billion, most of which was part of one of the largest cocaine seizures in American history.
Lawrence Hashish, the lawyer for Gogic, said: "These charges came as a surprise to him. He maintains his innocence, and had come to the U.S. for a boxing convention in Puerto Rico."
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-charges-former-montenegro-boxer-over-22-ton-1-billion-cocaine-seizure-2022-10-31/
A former heavyweight boxer from Montenegro was charged by the U.S. Department of Justice on Monday with trafficking in 22 tons of cocaine worth over $1 billion, most of which was part of one of the largest cocaine seizures in American history.
Lawrence Hashish, the lawyer for Gogic, said: "These charges came as a surprise to him. He maintains his innocence, and had come to the U.S. for a boxing convention in Puerto Rico."
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-charges-former-montenegro-boxer-over-22-ton-1-billion-cocaine-seizure-2022-10-31/
An American was on holiday in Ireland and was in the pub having a pint. He was chatting to the bar man and asked if there was anyone around that could give him a game of golf on the local course.
The bar man said "Yeah Paddy is very good at golf". The American sat down with Paddy and asked if he wanted to play a game the next day. Paddy said "Ok, I'll meet you at 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day Paddy turns up at 9 with his left hand clubs, plays the American and beats him. The American said "How about another game tomorrow?". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day, Paddy turn up at 9 with his right handed clubs, plays the American and wins convincingly. The American says "Right, how about another game tomorrow! Last game". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late".
The American says "Hold on, you turn up yesterday with left handed clubs, you turn up today with right handed clubs, what's going on?" Paddy replies "When I wake up in the morning, if the missus is laying on her left side, I bring the left handed clubs and if she's laying on her right side, I bring the right haded clubs."
"What about if she's laying on her back?" asked the American. "I'll be half hour late" says Paddy.
The bar man said "Yeah Paddy is very good at golf". The American sat down with Paddy and asked if he wanted to play a game the next day. Paddy said "Ok, I'll meet you at 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day Paddy turns up at 9 with his left hand clubs, plays the American and beats him. The American said "How about another game tomorrow?". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day, Paddy turn up at 9 with his right handed clubs, plays the American and wins convincingly. The American says "Right, how about another game tomorrow! Last game". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late".
The American says "Hold on, you turn up yesterday with left handed clubs, you turn up today with right handed clubs, what's going on?" Paddy replies "When I wake up in the morning, if the missus is laying on her left side, I bring the left handed clubs and if she's laying on her right side, I bring the right haded clubs."
"What about if she's laying on her back?" asked the American. "I'll be half hour late" says Paddy.
more of a philosophical joke
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."
Doctor I have leaves growing out my arse....Doctor: I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Copper walks in on his wife in bed with three men, 'ello ello ello' he says, wife says 'not speaking to me then?'
1 post
+1 votes
Eddys Hashbar is now live! To celebrate I’m hosting a welcome guess the weight competition get on it people!.
81g
Eddys Hashbar is now live! To celebrate I’m hosting a welcome guess the weight competition get on it people!.
Hi everyone it’s Eddy here. To celebrate the grand opening of Eddy’s Hashbar I will be running a classic guess the weight competition! Any 3gram from the menu to the winner! Also a special any 7gram from the menu to are lucky 100th customer. Guess the weight here winner will be announced Sunday and Good luck everyone. Eddy.
Winner announced Congratulations Awesome Andy !
1 post
+2 votes
on
SunMex
Best growers on LB?
Fallen/Sassy.
Druids Magic
British Bulldog
Northern Organics
Oilman
Bonneville
Bud Botanist
The Cheesemaster
Obviously these all come and go between their grows…..some may have just gone, but keep an eye out!
British Bulldog
Northern Organics
Oilman
Bonneville
Bud Botanist
The Cheesemaster
Obviously these all come and go between their grows…..some may have just gone, but keep an eye out!
Agree with that lost wholeheartedly though suspect that we have lost both oilman and budbot
Oilman's hifi 🤗
Oilman's hifi 🤗
Chatted to BudB just before he went offline, he was moving house and from my experience that can often mean the end of growing. Even if you think you have the space, one arsey neighbour, or finding out after you've bought the place that there's a copper living over the road....etc etc can often mean you have to quit.
It's happened to a few people i know. The guy i learned to grow from quit when his other half got pregnant and they moved somewhere bigger, which is totally fair enough.
Shame as BudB was a good guy, and a good grower. Hopefully he'll be back one day.
Cheers. BB
It's happened to a few people i know. The guy i learned to grow from quit when his other half got pregnant and they moved somewhere bigger, which is totally fair enough.
Shame as BudB was a good guy, and a good grower. Hopefully he'll be back one day.
Cheers. BB
hey mate I saw you growing a decent flowers, do you like to grow from seeds or clones only?
Hiya buddy,
Just femmed seeds for now but I'm thinking about clones at some point.
Thanks for your kind words, I do my best. 😊
Cheers BB 👍🍻
Just femmed seeds for now but I'm thinking about clones at some point.
Thanks for your kind words, I do my best. 😊
Cheers BB 👍🍻
what was your favourite strain you ever grow? I used to grow from seeds but when I try clones they like game changers, with clones you saving lots of time. I grow zowahh from karma genetic from clones and those plants been growing like crazy.
I haven't tried every grower on here, nor have i chatted to all of them, but i can say that Druids Magic are very good people and having chatted to them numerous times since their arrival on here, i can guarantee they know what they are doing.
I've seen a few sellers who seem to masquerade as growers but really have no idea.... DM is not one of these.
They're genuine artisans.
They've got some bangers coming up for Christmas too, but i won't ruin the surprise. ;)
Cheers. BB
I've seen a few sellers who seem to masquerade as growers but really have no idea.... DM is not one of these.
They're genuine artisans.
They've got some bangers coming up for Christmas too, but i won't ruin the surprise. ;)
Cheers. BB
BB has dropped wedding cake this month (can’t wait for it to get here😃) AND druids dropping some December? Well, it’ll definitely be a good Christmas this year haha
British bulldog has lovely wedding cake just now. Really enjoying it just now.
Druids but not had a listing since I’ve been using LB so hopefully one soon. I’ve not purchased anything from them but I have tried some 😋😋😋
I got really good Strawberry Ammi from keep it green.
Apexakunk2 had a topic Christmas No1 I’m sure that would help with your question.
Druids but not had a listing since I’ve been using LB so hopefully one soon. I’ve not purchased anything from them but I have tried some 😋😋😋
I got really good Strawberry Ammi from keep it green.
Apexakunk2 had a topic Christmas No1 I’m sure that would help with your question.
Polly has my list and some I’ve not tried but heard of.
Can tell from convos with bb and Druids they grow as know the shit you only find out from experience.
Way above my knowledge and I grew some half joint knock out chronic but then kid came
Can tell from convos with bb and Druids they grow as know the shit you only find out from experience.
Way above my knowledge and I grew some half joint knock out chronic but then kid came
Definitely Druids and N.organics - but have also had a couple of decent flowers from Keep It Green - they're new here, but doing well so far
Can't argue with any that have been mentioned, I have tried most of them and all excellent. One missing for me though would be sassy buds, they have grown some of the best flower i have had all year.
all but mercedes . love for all the ones ive purchased from all quality . but no love for the one let me down. personal choice i would have to say PISTACH. impressive with that first zheetos grow and looking forward to trying the new fire batch this week. bless all
best grower...i'm gonna have to say me. not a vendor though
all things considered, it's 💯 me
personal purple grow not industrial scales
all things considered, it's 💯 me
personal purple grow not industrial scales
1 post
+1 votes
DDOS#33 and Runtz punch update 30/08/22
The girls are looking lovely...
DDOS#33 and Runtz punch update 30/08/22
thought I'd post a quick update of where I'm at as I've not got any listings up atm..First time I've grown herbies own seeds and I must say so far I'm highly impressed,one of the ddos(picture) just exploded with frost and purple hues and smells amazing.ive 2 phenos of this strain and they look completely different.ones purple,ones green.im hoping it purples up as I lower temps last few weeks of flower..runtz punch I can already see is gonna have some chunky chunky buds,strong healthy and stinky..sassy can't wait..ill be back with some premium flower real soon ✌....strains to come after these?????..blueberry Hill and godzilla glue ✌
Hello matey,soil all the way for me.For years i grew with bio bizz light and all mix but this grow im growing with guanokalong complete and tbh ill be using this from now on,good drainage and the ladies love the guano!.lights in my main 8x4 tent I have only leds.x2 invisible suns(405watt total) x2 mars hydro 150watts.1 viperspectra 100watt and 3 generic quantum boards 100 watt each.Get good results with these as I can move them around up n down as I need.And I usually scrog,but the runtz I didn't even top and just let her go✌
6 posts
+1 votes
Double and triple filtered Top quality Super resiny sticky Hashes available @Eddys Hashbar come check them out! And look…
Why change the description and prices then. have a nice day.
+ 6 more
Double and triple filtered Top quality Super resiny sticky Hashes available @Eddys Hashbar come check them out! And look out for our competition post.
Lol what exactly am I lying about they are all super soft filtered hashes . The descriptions are what I got from the supplier that’s all I can go on and All of them but the Leb are almost full melt and can’t be touched by a lighter or they just bubble up . So I don’t know what you mean bud.
The difference between full melt and commercial moroc hash is quite different .these are not nearly full melt .look at real deals hashs these are triple filtered
No there not anything like filtered hash, give ya head a shake mate and stop being dishonest to biggas I smoked 4 of them and they were all crap!
Now you changed all depictions of filtered hash AND put the prices down when I paid full wack for the triple filtered hash, very skanky ways to vend.
So ok out of 23 people your the only one to complain so like they say you can’t please everyone. Have a nice day Eddy
Lol like I said you can’t please everyone your not happy now the description has changed (being more honest as you say)and I’ve lowered the prices to reflect this aswell 🤣🤣 I can’t win. I msged you offering you a free reship for your bad experience and tried to accommodate you the best I can but you refused bud . Feels like your either another vendor or friends with one and trying to just put a new vendor down i run 2 pages here and have 10/10 consistently for 3 months until you , so it makes me feel suspicious of your comments im sorry. So don’t know what more I can do to help you , pm me if you would like to discuss a reship or solution to your unhappiness.
You offered me a gram mate not a reship, which I found insulting after spending $55 on HASH with false descriptions and left with 3g I won't smoke, just a waste of cash for me, would never have bought it knowing it wasn't genuine filtered hash, what do you expect when you are just guessing as to what your stock descriptions are, how are your customers supposed to react to that, take it on the chin? lastly, I'm no dealer's friend, vendors always pull that one when you complain. I just know my gear inside out mate I make concentrate filtered hashes isolator, so I know my shit!
Can you put a lighter to them No! Are they almost full melt Yes, do they spell very strong and potent Yes. so I don’t know what you mean they are not filtered hashes? Unfiltered hash is like blonde hashes hard that you have to burn I know because I have some , these are like playdo soft and sticky so🤷♂️. N I’m not pulling anything bud your the only person to complain so of coarse I’m confused and concerned and have doubts but if yo say so your the expert . like I said pm me if you wanna discuss this further other than have a nice day . Thanks Eddy
Everyone is 10/10 but you so think you need to give your head a shake or just smoke herb instead bud😉
1 post
+2 votes
Interesting
It is some really lovely hash.
Interesting
So I had an interesting experience smoking a joint with this hash earlier! This hash almost made me whitey, the first time I've felt like that for 15 years. Instant head spinning and feeling sick. Had to go lay down and was fine after 10 minutes. This is insanely strong hash. I'm a heavy weed smoker and I chain joints, this absolutely knocked me the fuck out.
Impressive strainsburys, very impressive.
Impressive strainsburys, very impressive.
Agree its strong, gave me a massive stone over this morning which I prefer not to have 😂 the taste wasn't really anything special to me, not a patch on real deals hashes imo
3 posts
+4 votes
I did happily give you a go dude ordered today along with special NDD, but you have not been on messenger for a day so not sure how you can fulfill my order now within the allocated time frame, really needed that pronto :(
I’ve just paid last night and noticed 2 days… hopefully we’re worrying over nothing here!
I can see that people have left reviews today saying it took one day so there may be hope!
bigg topics
