Three blokes find an old lamp lying by the side of the road, and when they rub it a genie pops out and grants each of them three wishes. "Now tell me," he booms, "what is your first wish?"

The first bloke asks for a billion pounds. The second bloke asks for perfect mental peace and happiness. The third bloke says "I want my left arm to revolve clockwise, all the time, like I was bowling a cricket ball." The other two look at him bewildered, but he just smiles and taps his nose.

The genie says "What is your second wish?" The first bloke asks to be totally irresistible to women. The second bloke asks for perfect physical health until the age of 100. The third bloke says "I want my right arm to revolve anti-clockwise, all the time." The other two stare at him, but again he just smiles smugly.

Finally the genie grants them their third wish. The first guy asks for all his hair to grow back. The second asks for him and his wife to be able to have children at last. The third one says "I want to hop everywhere on one leg, bouncing as high as if I was on a pogo stick." The other two are completely baffled, but again he just taps his nose and smiles.

"OK" says the genie. "Your wishes will come true at midnight tonight" - and he disappears in a puff of smoke. The three men arrange to meet up in a year's time to see how they're all getting on, and then they go their separate ways.

A year later, they meet in the pub. The first man walks in wearing a five thousand pound suit, the keys to a Ferrari in his hand, with long flowing hair and a top model hanging off each arm. "I couldn't be happier," he says. "My life is paradise now."

The second man walks in with a beaming smile, the picture of health, totally relaxed, holding a picture of his baby twins. " I couldn't be happier," he says. "Every day is just wonderful."

Just then, the pub doors fly open and the third man comes bouncing in on one leg, his head banging off the ceiling, with both his arms swinging round and round in opposite directions.

"Guys," he says. "I think I fucked up."

Yep, KIG is the cult hero of LB for sure

Yep, KIG is the cult hero of LB for sure

It's a great high, but I doubt it's outdoor grown because of the nasty chemical taste, which is really distinctive (I've had other weed with the exact same taste) and usually means someone's got something wrong in the grow room. It's a bit annoying because apart from that "hairspray" taste this weed suits me down to the ground and I'd happily make it my everyday smoke. The good news is the taste doesn't hang around, it disappears soon after the exhale. Other than that, in terms of the actual effects, I'd say this is the best landrace I've had from here. Usually these pure sativas are racy as fuck even when they're relatively low in THC, but this one really, really isn't. Nice and relaxing without being sleepy. Just wish it tasted like it should!

MrB4Real's Thai is the best tasting I've had in years. Also, Keep It Green's Northern Lights is phenomenally good.