written and produced by herbie flowers, one of the greatest session musicians of the late 60's and 70's (google him - he's was an amazing musician and played bass on many of the greatest recordings of the era from lou reed, scott walker, david bowie, t rex, bryan ferry, many more) who was sick of getting paid session rates and living in a two bed semi in ditchling while everyone who employed him got super rich so came up with the st. winifred's school choir records as a retirement plan, possibly also as revenge against a cruel, unjust and uncaring world/record buying public and maybe a bet with lou reed that he could make something even worse than metal machine music and still get it to number one.

you are right though, they are truly the worst songs ever recorded.