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joined dec 2022
share FKRJL76 and generate bitcoin with reference codes.
2 topics on FKRJL76
14 posts
+24.5 votes
by
FKRJL76
Bitcoin assistance...again
by
FKRJL76
Bitcoin assistance...again
Hey everyone,
So a few days ago I put an order in but I made the transaction fee too slow. After two days the payment still had not cleared to the vendor, so I cancelled the order to try and re-buy again;
but now im left wondering when the bitcoin will be returned to my wallet?
Has anyone else had a similar experience and if so how long did it take for your payment to come back?
Thank you all in advance!
So a few days ago I put an order in but I made the transaction fee too slow. After two days the payment still had not cleared to the vendor, so I cancelled the order to try and re-buy again;
but now im left wondering when the bitcoin will be returned to my wallet?
Has anyone else had a similar experience and if so how long did it take for your payment to come back?
Thank you all in advance!
Yes just to second what others have said it seems the network is super congested this happens time to time but generally they seem to iron themselves out over a week or so.
It is rather a pain though in general for the whole community ;(
It is rather a pain though in general for the whole community ;(
Refund borg will take 2-3 days usually after you send the information they need to process the payment back into your btc wallet.
Yeah network is very congested.
Copy and paste your bitcoin transaction i.d to mempool.space to get a rough ETA
Cancelling an order just send a request to the vendor to cancel then the vendor decides if he wants to cancel or not.
After he agrees you’ll get refunded by refund borg. Might take upto 1-2 weeks
You’ll get a message from the “refund borg” asking you for Btc address so he can send the refund .
Copy and paste your bitcoin transaction i.d to mempool.space to get a rough ETA
Cancelling an order just send a request to the vendor to cancel then the vendor decides if he wants to cancel or not.
After he agrees you’ll get refunded by refund borg. Might take upto 1-2 weeks
You’ll get a message from the “refund borg” asking you for Btc address so he can send the refund .
3 wks and 2 days in and still not been refunded. Crazy huh. The sat fees keep fluctuating crazily high, feels like I’m gonna have to right off that $330
Hey man sorry for late reply, had a break on here for a bit.
was just about to send the transaction id to ya and when I checked it, the btc FINALLY went through! I got a msg from refund Borg telling me the payment had gone through to a cancelled order so just sent my BTC address and now we wait for the refund! thank you again for all the help/advice.
god that was a stressful month! I wonder how long it will take now for the refund to come through!
was just about to send the transaction id to ya and when I checked it, the btc FINALLY went through! I got a msg from refund Borg telling me the payment had gone through to a cancelled order so just sent my BTC address and now we wait for the refund! thank you again for all the help/advice.
god that was a stressful month! I wonder how long it will take now for the refund to come through!
21 posts
+35 votes
by
FKRJL76
bitcoin assistance!
by
FKRJL76
bitcoin assistance!
hi there! I made this account for my husband as he needs the devils lettuce for his medicine. I used to buy the bitcoin via my account (Lloyds bank) which was good for about 9 months then lloyds bank decided to stop my bitcoin payments but also any online purchases (Amazon etc.) so I used my husbands account (nationwide) it worked fine the first time, i went to purchase some more bitcoin via his account and his entire account was frozen he couldn't even access his bank app. we have now both switched banks but both of our new banks are suspicious of bitcoin payments. (mine is nationwide, was made before my hubby got penalised, and his new bank is Santander) So my question to you guys is; what platform or bank is RELIABLE when it comes to bitcoin purchases. thank you in advance! :) xx
hi thank you for your help! ive never heard of hodlhodl I will def look into this! and if you dont mind sending me a tutorial I will message you now! thank you so much! :) x
Also look into getting a Canna card, you can just Google it. It's a scheme set up to protect medical users, you either get your GP to endorse it (fat chance) or request your husband's med record from the GP and submit it yourself. Upon seeing a medical condition that benefits from medicinal use they will issue a card that explains this. Should you have issues with the law you present your card. It doesn't necessarily solve everything but any prosecution has to be in the public interest. There's a lot of anecdotal evidence of no further action being taken even when people are growing! On that note, and not to take away from the amazing vendors and community here maybe check out autoflower seeds. Personally I prefer this site but when it comes to medicinal use it's nice to have a self sufficient fall back option. NHS needs to catch up, the herb changed my Auntie's life
Good morning! thank you so much for your in depth reply! we have looked into canna cards before and as you said GPs are a no go. (in fact us and the whole national homicide service= nhs, dont get on at all! ) but totally agree the NHS do need to Catch up (on all psychoactive substances, if Mother Nature made it available for all of us, that tells me we need to utilise it! dont get me started on the cannabinoid system we have inside us!)
I didn't realise I could access the card myself without a GP, excellent!
we used to grow our own and we used to make our own Ricky Simpson oil from the trim but due to my husbands mobility/medical issues worsening we cut our losses growing and decided to buy on little biggy, it's actually cheaper buying on here. but now because of the "powers that be" have made it a bit more difficult buying it. (wont stop me trying though!) thank you again for your advice and im really glad the magic herb has helped your auntie! sending positive vibes to you and your family. :) x
I didn't realise I could access the card myself without a GP, excellent!
we used to grow our own and we used to make our own Ricky Simpson oil from the trim but due to my husbands mobility/medical issues worsening we cut our losses growing and decided to buy on little biggy, it's actually cheaper buying on here. but now because of the "powers that be" have made it a bit more difficult buying it. (wont stop me trying though!) thank you again for your advice and im really glad the magic herb has helped your auntie! sending positive vibes to you and your family. :) x
Hopefully it helps. A lot of people aren't aware you can request a copy of your medical notes. There's normally a small fee and they take a while but after that you've got the full file. Also handy if applying for certain things like insurance ( travel etc) good luck
Open revolut online account, transfer money from your card to revolut buy btc on Revolut send to your own wallet if you have one. Or use revolut to send cash to coinbase or whoever your buying btc from.
Hope this helps.
Hope this helps.
hiya! I was looking into Revolut but as I hadn't used it before I wanted to check with the bigga's just to make sure I didn't get penalised again! but thank you very much I will make an account today! have a great day. :) x
Mobile bank Monzo aren't being soppy wet ones about crypto yet. I have no problems buying. Available on both android and apple app stores.
Buying from Coinbase myself.
Buying from Coinbase myself.
I heard about monzo but they didn't have a good write up on trust pilot, so I didn't bother looking into it any further, however if they are allowing crypto and you have had no issue I will check them out too! (lots of researching and account making me for me today!) I buy from moonpay and they are alway fab for me just the stupid highstreet banks being wank! lol have a great day! :) x
No real problems for me and I use them for my salary. Get paid the day before everyone else too.
You could just use themto pay into then buy crypto from your preferred exchange.
You could just use themto pay into then buy crypto from your preferred exchange.
Oof. Maybe not today... You have to wait for the card first and then activate it within the app. Mine arrived the next day.
I literally just came across that as I was researching! typical the hash will have to wait! lol thank you again!
Yep, Monzo, Revolut (don't use this one for normal banking though, the FCA don't like them) and Barclays seem to be playing ball. All happy with Coinbase (for now)
After what happened with me and my husbands bank, I thought to just have a "kosher" account and siphon some money into a separate bitcoin account, was tricky trying to find a good one and then I was concerned that if I had a Revolut or monzo account would my bank get weird with me sending that account money, (probs just my lil mind going into overdrive!) my new bank after the switch as said is now nationwide and the bitcoin I buy is from moonpay so I hope monzo and Revolut will be okay! thank you so much again!! :) x
8 posts by FKRJL76
1 post
+2 votes
pinned
Guess the weight and win $100
🤔 Me thinks just under a joints worth 😂
5 OZ
pinned
Guess the weight and win $100
Winner - $100 to shop with us
Runner up - $50
One guess per person.
Please put your guess in the comments.
Winner announced on 28.05.24
Runner up - $50
One guess per person.
Please put your guess in the comments.
Winner announced on 28.05.24
303 grams 😧😧😧😆😆😆
If there's anywhere near that much in the tub. I'll buy the 303 grams for you 😂😂 lol
Good luck with that 1 ..each to their own suppose 😉
If there's anywhere near that much in the tub. I'll buy the 303 grams for you 😂😂 lol
Good luck with that 1 ..each to their own suppose 😉
Hadn't read the zero'd tub comment 🤣 oh well 🤷 not gonna lose any sleep over that one😉
this contest is not provably fair. you know the answer and can share it or use it yourself. sorry, it will be deleted. please visit our page for help with fair contests.
I'm gonna guess 4oz or in grams 113g unless its been taken already
😊 23.5.24 @ 12:27
thank you!
😊 23.5.24 @ 12:27
thank you!
114g. Maybe. I've no idea. I only ever weigh up little bits. Good luck to everyone entering. Thanks for running the comp.
23/5/2024 - 9.19am.
23/5/2024 - 9.19am.
Is this the weight of the bud after the box was zeroed on the scale, or the weight of everything pictured on that scale?
Box zeroed, should have made that clear my bad! So just the bud weight :) good luck
Best to check, I feel. That looks, by eyeballing a container that I have no context of size or anything else of, other than buds and how they vary in size, as something I'd need 10 or so 500mL jars for...therefore I think I'll go with 277g.
1 post
+1 votes
on
TeesideFella
Baccy or cig tobacco in joint?
just weed only 💨
on
TeesideFella
Baccy or cig tobacco in joint?
Hi biggas, I want to know what is better in a joint with hash, rolling baccy or cigarette tobacco? Better in terms of flavour, burning well and healthyness
Get a bong smoke it pure or if you really want a joint professor herb tobacco replacement burns decent. After about 2 months of no baccy, high is nice and clean lasts longer, no urge to smoke for the want of nicotine and you will probably save money on bud/hash in the long run
American spirit rolling tobacco (its organic), get in sainsburys tesco ect.
perfect dryness and tastes very nice.
quite expensive tho, 22-23 quid for 30g.
perfect dryness and tastes very nice.
quite expensive tho, 22-23 quid for 30g.
Saw an earlier post of yours about American Spirit and got some of the yellow. It's great. Thank you for the reminder - I used to smoke American Spirit cigarettes and completely forgot they do rolling baccy too. Been using inferior tobacco for ages.
I'm smoking the yellow one currently (it's the lighter one of the two) and it's really good. American Spirit all the way, as BBDoom says - in fact, I'd been using Cutters Choice for a while and another earlier post of BBDoom's made me remember about American Spirit and just how good it is (so thanks for that mate!). No chemicals and perfect level of dryness for bud as he said.
I've only ever found the blue, it's the best, smoked it for years now.
And fuck all the chemicals they inject into the non organic tobacco, they think we're so dumb.
And fuck all the chemicals they inject into the non organic tobacco, they think we're so dumb.
Cigarette tobacco all the way. I've never got on with baccy. It doesn't taste the same, doesn't burn the same, and doesn't roll the same. I've always favoured B&H Gold.
Hence my very specific choice dude, this is with much research. You can pick out the spiky/barky bits, and the weird bits, then you have about 4/5ths of a fag for a 3 skin silver Rizla joint.
Fair enough, I have had this argument with my friends for like 10 years until they converted to rolling tobaco, but definitely each to their own 👍
The pressure and the way the tobacco compacts is so different. I've had members of touring reggae bands comment on the quality of my B&H joints, but if they'd given me baccy they'd be lucky to toke through! You can easily redistribute a tighter rolled ciggy joint so there are no choke points. Almost impossible with baccy as it wants to stay in one placed position.
I know what you mean but I get round it by drying the backy a bit and using the bottom the bag which is all unclumped and doesn't want to join together again, removing those sort of problems that I have had before that ruin a joint and stop it from smoking and then resin builds up and no airflow. But if you follow my method and try it next time, and I only use a tiny bit so it doesn't really have the potential to clump up really. But each to their own if you prefer the dry ciggy backy flavour
You're asking me to unlearn nearly 30 years of rolling (after using a rolling machine) dude! I'll just carry on horrifying the youth with my 'straights' (and ability to lick and rip it open in one, as it's not hard at all) and using 3 silver Rizlas. I'm not relearning how to roll in the dark by feel and chinks of light again. It took too long to perfect.
Lol fair enough , up to you, it's very easy to roll with backy infact I find it easier than with ciggy backy as the ciggy backy doesn't want to turn into a worm so it stays really airy in the joint and sometimes part of the point burn faster making it canoe with the ciggy backy burning quicker than the nice weed. But still I've had both joints that can taste nice, it's just personal preference at the end of the day.
Ah, now we hit the crux! I use fags as they don't form a worm. A worm stage makes it too tight to toke for me. I get to nearly that with the B&H, then leave some space in the end, then roll that between my fingers so it's loose (or, at least, not tonight) before smoking. It's definitely personal preference.
If you want it to smoke quick and be an easy toker I do think cig backy is better but if you want it to last longer and be smoother then use backy in my opinion.
I can't imagine how long you'd want it to last as a 3 small silver Rizla joint for me will last a good 20-30 minutes. How would I get things done if I switched and it lasted longer?!
I can totally see both sides here having used both fag and rolling tobacco for long periods in the past. Definitely pros and cons for both but I find myself siding with Rux. For me rolling tobacco was almost purely an economic choice, if you can afford a B&H or Marlboro gold then I’d suggest that.
But also, we should really be discussing the healthier alternatives (boring, I know - sorry). I use joints as a treat now. I vape in the mighty or bong hash through the week. Helps wi tolerance too I think.
But also, we should really be discussing the healthier alternatives (boring, I know - sorry). I use joints as a treat now. I vape in the mighty or bong hash through the week. Helps wi tolerance too I think.
Have you tried American Spirit (blue)? It's drier than most tobaccos as it doesn't use the same preservatives. Very clean tasting so mostly taste the bud. At least in my opinion.
I would recommend Manitou Green rolling tobacco available from Asda for £18 It’s fully organically grown with no additives and is a smooth smoke You do need a hydro stone to keep it from getting too dry American spirit is good but is not grown organically although has no additives added.
I will buy this tobacco, I have sort of giving up tobacco but can not give up joints totally for now, so will get this manitou green
Good choice 👍 it’s the only fully organic tobacco sold in uk American spirit and Pueblo are additive free but not organic As far as cigarettes are concerned apart from American spirit and Pueblo they contain many chemicals and additives
Went to Asda today for some manitou but they didn't have it, they only had American spirit and pueblo, so I left it and thought I'd try some other shop. my Asda has stopped selling it I think
Maybe they’re just out of stock Morrisons stock it as well as tobacconists Smoke King stock it online with 1.99 postage You will need a hydro stone too as the tobacco doesn’t contain preservatives so keeps it from getting to dry Anything else just DM me cheers
1 post
+2 votes
on
CannaBuds
New Vendor Incoming :)
on
CannaBuds
New Vendor Incoming :)
Hey guys, So I'm a new vendor here on LB. I'll be selling anything cannabis related from edibles, flower, distillate, carts, pens, mushroom bars so on and so forth.
I'm wondering how many other US > US vendors are actually on here?
Hope to see more of you around the place and hoping to kickstart here as soon as possible.
Best Regards,
@CannaBudsUSA
I'm wondering how many other US > US vendors are actually on here?
Hope to see more of you around the place and hoping to kickstart here as soon as possible.
Best Regards,
@CannaBudsUSA
No sorry we would only be US > US sadly. But not sure how many USA people are actually on here.
You won't be any use on here then CannaBuds.Why are you on this platform if you're only doing US to US. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔.
1 post
+2 votes
Spending too much $$$ on a grinder?
I bought a space case grinder £50 early 2000s still using it today
Spending too much $$$ on a grinder?
I wanna treat myself to something nice. My bog standard £10 Amazon grinder is fine I guess, but could be better.
I am currently eyeing up the Brilliant Cut Grinder, but am leaning away as I CBA to wait 2 months for it to ship from Canada. Also, I like to keep my crappier weed in the kief collector bit, and BCGs are only 3 pieces. Am also looking at the Santa Cruz Shredder, which seems highly rated.
Money isn't too much of an object, however, if a £40 grinder is just as good as a £100 one, obvs. would prefer to spend less. I mostly DHV (Crafty+), if that matters. Thanks!
I am currently eyeing up the Brilliant Cut Grinder, but am leaning away as I CBA to wait 2 months for it to ship from Canada. Also, I like to keep my crappier weed in the kief collector bit, and BCGs are only 3 pieces. Am also looking at the Santa Cruz Shredder, which seems highly rated.
Money isn't too much of an object, however, if a £40 grinder is just as good as a £100 one, obvs. would prefer to spend less. I mostly DHV (Crafty+), if that matters. Thanks!
My one constantly needs me to manually poke small bits of weed through the holes, lol. It does get the weed nice and fluffy though - which is what I hear SC is great for.
Depends what you want. I love a grinder that collects keif. Some don’t.
I highly doubt a £100 grinder will be all that much better than a £40 one. Probably paying for branding a lot of times. All made in the same factory in China. So unless you know it’s hand CNC’d. Then be wary.
Otherwise. What’s up with cheap grinders? Unless it’s a flex. I’ve had a grinder for 10 years. Cost me £20. Still does the job.
Bought a £25 one recently. Which also does the job. But collects ludicrous levels of keif.
Sorry. Not sure if I answered the question. But hype and desirability do not alway equal good value for money. So beware of influencers saying this grinder, or that grinder is the one.
It’s just a fuckin’ grinder. It grinds weed. It’s not rocket science.
I highly doubt a £100 grinder will be all that much better than a £40 one. Probably paying for branding a lot of times. All made in the same factory in China. So unless you know it’s hand CNC’d. Then be wary.
Otherwise. What’s up with cheap grinders? Unless it’s a flex. I’ve had a grinder for 10 years. Cost me £20. Still does the job.
Bought a £25 one recently. Which also does the job. But collects ludicrous levels of keif.
Sorry. Not sure if I answered the question. But hype and desirability do not alway equal good value for money. So beware of influencers saying this grinder, or that grinder is the one.
It’s just a fuckin’ grinder. It grinds weed. It’s not rocket science.
Nah, you answered it. I think a fancy grinder is like a high quality knife. It feels better to use and does the job faster, but you don't strictly need one to cook. A crappy Wilko (R.I.P.) knife does the job well enough. Thanks!
Its amazing..buy the brilliant cut grinder.. had for a year used regularly..everyday multiple times.. and hasnt blocked or even collected kief around. the three piece is the best.. honestly i thought i was mad spending that much on a grinder..but produces the fluffliest grind you will see.. definitely worth a purchase
https://recommendedvapesupplies.co.uk/products/flowermill-next-gen-premium
I have the following grinders
Large Santa Cruz
Large BCG
2 large flower mills
1 medium flower mill
1 medium Santa Cruz
1 zam
A metric fuckton of various cheap and cheerful ranging from flower mill clones to hemp biodegradable ones
The mills are my favourite followed by the Bcg
Anyone who says there isn't a difference between a premium and budget grinder are in my opinion incorrect especially when living with one long term
Personally I don't do keif collection as I want my weed to typical stay in my weed but I do get why people do it
The mills can be four piece
BCG seconds don't have the wait and genuinely I couldn't see what made mine a second
I have the following grinders
Large Santa Cruz
Large BCG
2 large flower mills
1 medium flower mill
1 medium Santa Cruz
1 zam
A metric fuckton of various cheap and cheerful ranging from flower mill clones to hemp biodegradable ones
The mills are my favourite followed by the Bcg
Anyone who says there isn't a difference between a premium and budget grinder are in my opinion incorrect especially when living with one long term
Personally I don't do keif collection as I want my weed to typical stay in my weed but I do get why people do it
The mills can be four piece
BCG seconds don't have the wait and genuinely I couldn't see what made mine a second
Hi DR, been looking at the new standard flower mill on RVS for £30 which has the "medium" plate, I believe. Do you use different plates on the premium or just stick to one? Any plates better than others (for general vaping)?
I'm attracted to the simplistic nature of the Standard but wondered if having only the medium plate would limit my experience? I'm using Dynavap/Tiny Might style vapes. (oh and the best ever in the whole world, Solo2... fishing rod extended... 😉)
Cheers :)
I'm attracted to the simplistic nature of the Standard but wondered if having only the medium plate would limit my experience? I'm using Dynavap/Tiny Might style vapes. (oh and the best ever in the whole world, Solo2... fishing rod extended... 😉)
Cheers :)
I pretty much only use the medium plates I have played around with the plates and find that medium works best for 90% of my stuff
https://www.hoj.life/products/klip
Amazing slicer wouldn't go back to grinding again
Amazing slicer wouldn't go back to grinding again
Best £4.99 you can spend!
https://www.shivaonline.co.uk/shop/grinders/best-of-basics/products/storz---bickel-volcano-herb-mill.html
https://www.shivaonline.co.uk/shop/grinders/best-of-basics/products/storz---bickel-volcano-herb-mill.html
To fine a grind for a lot of current vapes sorry 🦊
I have several and they are vapman exclusives pretty much now
I have several and they are vapman exclusives pretty much now
I have a very technical solution for this 🤓: for a courser grind I turn the wheel less🤫…I’m going to patent my technique!
Get one of the BCG factory seconds. I can't spot a blemish on mine.
They're in stock and took about 10 days to the UK and I think there's still 15% off promo running. Best purchase I've made.
Get the medium plate. If you want a finer grind, grind upside down for a few rotations then flip it back up the right way.
They're in stock and took about 10 days to the UK and I think there's still 15% off promo running. Best purchase I've made.
Get the medium plate. If you want a finer grind, grind upside down for a few rotations then flip it back up the right way.
I'm really happy with the stainless steel Herb Ripper I bought around a year ago. Had to soak it in iso once to get all of the left on weed hash and bits off it, and my mate genuinely thought I'd bought a new one. Not at those prices! Bought a fine grinding plate for it too, which I think should probably be the standard plate, but that's no doubt why it's separate and a costly add-on. Hopefully it'll last a lifetime.
1 post
+2 votes
⭐️STAR🌜PARTY!🎉
nice 👍
⭐️STAR🌜PARTY!🎉
Direct link: https://littlebiggy.net/link/8gcy04
Hey Guys!
Two new more LC varieties available!
It brings me great joy to be able to offer Stargazer LC syringes and Full Moon Party syringes along side the others i have up on my shop!
Stargazers are quite potent and one of my personal faves to grow, i haven't yet tried FMP as I'm still currently growing them, however both Stars and FMP passed my Agar trials and were clean and viable! 😊🍄
Current LC syringes available:
10ml Liquid culture syringes;
🍄 Mazatapec
🍄 Orissa Indian
🍄 Mystery
🍄 Full Moon Party
🍄 Stargazer
each syringe comes vacuum sealed with a 21g needle and 70% iso wipe.
🍄 HAPPY SHROOMING! 🍄
Hey Guys!
Two new more LC varieties available!
It brings me great joy to be able to offer Stargazer LC syringes and Full Moon Party syringes along side the others i have up on my shop!
Stargazers are quite potent and one of my personal faves to grow, i haven't yet tried FMP as I'm still currently growing them, however both Stars and FMP passed my Agar trials and were clean and viable! 😊🍄
Current LC syringes available:
10ml Liquid culture syringes;
🍄 Mazatapec
🍄 Orissa Indian
🍄 Mystery
🍄 Full Moon Party
🍄 Stargazer
each syringe comes vacuum sealed with a 21g needle and 70% iso wipe.
🍄 HAPPY SHROOMING! 🍄
2 posts
+16 votes
BEST JOKE partie deux
my uncle is a shit ventriloquist, he put two fingers up my arse and told me not to say anything..... 💨
+ 2 more
BEST JOKE partie deux
Rule 1- Make me laugh
Rule 2- At least 8 purchases on the account.
Rule 3- I'll find something else.
I will pick the winner with the 1st prize. The prize mite grow but to start its 10 grams of my Moonies(moonrocks)
I will pick someone to choose 2nd/3rd place with a price of 7 grams flower.
Bring it on people's.........
Rule 2- At least 8 purchases on the account.
Rule 3- I'll find something else.
I will pick the winner with the 1st prize. The prize mite grow but to start its 10 grams of my Moonies(moonrocks)
I will pick someone to choose 2nd/3rd place with a price of 7 grams flower.
Bring it on people's.........
What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I’ve never paid £50 to have a lentil on my face.
Congratulations Kez A KIG prize is bound to be an absolute banger like your joke !
I think mine were a bit controversial lol
Enjoy your prize
I think mine were a bit controversial lol
Enjoy your prize
Yours was my favourite Emz but I wanted to stay impartial.
Kez better be a big boy/girl smoker!!
Kez better be a big boy/girl smoker!!
my uncle is a shit ventriloquist, he put two fingers up my arse and told me not to say anything..... 💨
Last week I bought a dog from a blacksmith.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the painting
It only takes one nail to hang the painting
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Get lost, we don't serve your kind." The mushroom shrugs and says, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"🍄
Did you hear the one about the homeopathic drug addict?
They died of a massive underdose. 🥁
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover?
The position of the dirtbag.
They died of a massive underdose. 🥁
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover?
The position of the dirtbag.
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!
My Mrs has just looked through everybody's contributions and she has decided on the winner.
She has chosen Kez with the chickpea joke.
Congratulations Kez, please forward your details and I'll get your Moonrocks out to you by the weekend.
Kez you also need to choose your favourite joke as the 2nd place. Prize of 7 grams
My Mrs has just looked through everybody's contributions and she has decided on the winner.
She has chosen Kez with the chickpea joke.
Congratulations Kez, please forward your details and I'll get your Moonrocks out to you by the weekend.
Kez you also need to choose your favourite joke as the 2nd place. Prize of 7 grams
Fuck yeah!! Thanks KIG made my weekend that has! I’ll drop you a message with who I think should be in 2nd place.
Well done Kez and thank you KIG your comps actually provide entertainment as well as prizes they are the only ones I enter. Sorry my jokes are pretty dark lol
A worthy winner congrats Kez 🥳👏🏻
I like really dark jokes too Emz but also really silly ones so LBs joke comps cover all the bases for me.
I like really dark jokes too Emz but also really silly ones so LBs joke comps cover all the bases for me.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
Two genie jokes ;).
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a normal-sized body but a tiny head. The guy notices him staring, "I wasn't always like this," he says, "I found a lamp and a beautiful genie woman came out. She was a stunner. She said I had one wish - I couldn't think about anything else and told her I wanted to sleep with her. She said that's the one thing I cannot grant. So I said, how about a little head?"
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Russian are stranded on a desert island. They find a lamp, rub it and a genie comes out. He says, "I can grant each of you two wishes". The Irishman says "I want a lifetime supply of whiskey and to go back home." He instantly vanishes. The Englishman says, "I want a lifetime supply of the finest beer and to go back home!" He also vanishes. The Russian says, "I want a bottle of vodka and my two friends back again."
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a normal-sized body but a tiny head. The guy notices him staring, "I wasn't always like this," he says, "I found a lamp and a beautiful genie woman came out. She was a stunner. She said I had one wish - I couldn't think about anything else and told her I wanted to sleep with her. She said that's the one thing I cannot grant. So I said, how about a little head?"
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Russian are stranded on a desert island. They find a lamp, rub it and a genie comes out. He says, "I can grant each of you two wishes". The Irishman says "I want a lifetime supply of whiskey and to go back home." He instantly vanishes. The Englishman says, "I want a lifetime supply of the finest beer and to go back home!" He also vanishes. The Russian says, "I want a bottle of vodka and my two friends back again."
“I went to a bakery that advertised 'All Cakes £1'. I took one to the counter - the shop assistant said, '£2 please. That's Madeira cake'”
Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a great vet.
Going for another one -
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?'
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?'
Two nuns are cycling through the old streets of Florence. Out of breath, the first nun says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
“It must be the cobbles”, says the other.
“It must be the cobbles”, says the other.
What have curry and uncles got in common ? They will both give you a sore arse if you get a bad one
That's up there Emz lol.
Worst thing having a wrongen uncle that doesn't top and tail when he stays over
Worst thing having a wrongen uncle that doesn't top and tail when he stays over
I'm always amazed by the accuracy of Spanish tattoo artists.... But then nobody expects the Spanish ink precision
"I Said to my Mate who's a Scouser, how Come you only Spent £3 on your Mums Mother's day Present?
He Replied, Thats all She Had in Her Purse 😲😲😲🤣🤣
He Replied, Thats all She Had in Her Purse 😲😲😲🤣🤣
how do you embarrass an archaeologist?
show him a used tampon and ask which period it came from
show him a used tampon and ask which period it came from
I still think this should have won when you did this years ago so I’ll try it again…..
How does a stoner recite Shakespeare? “Doobie or not doobie🤣🤣🤣
Not sure I’ve ever told that one before🤦🏻🙏🏼
How does a stoner recite Shakespeare? “Doobie or not doobie🤣🤣🤣
Not sure I’ve ever told that one before🤦🏻🙏🏼
So I was in a bar last night and the waitress screamed...
"Anyone know CPR?"
I said "hey, I know the whole Alphabet."
Everyone laughed...
Well except this one guy.
"Anyone know CPR?"
I said "hey, I know the whole Alphabet."
Everyone laughed...
Well except this one guy.
Omg lol some good ones here. The Pickasso one. Lol
But check this everyone I only went and bought some new shoes from a drug dealer and I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day.
But check this everyone I only went and bought some new shoes from a drug dealer and I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day.
women coming home from work horney as fuk, husband sleeping , she snook into bedroom under the sheets and gave him blowjob of his life juice everywhere coming out her nose the lot she was delighted that she got him so excited, walked into bathroom to clean up, husband sitting on bog says SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH for fuk sake you will wake your grandad😜 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Until it's disallowed at some future date, I shall have to keep submitting this as best joke. Clement Freud - The £20 note.
Why can’t an orphan be gay ?
Nobody to call Daddy 🙈
What’s difference between anal and oral ?
Oral makes ur day anal makes ur hole weak
Nobody to call Daddy 🙈
What’s difference between anal and oral ?
Oral makes ur day anal makes ur hole weak
Englishman, Irishman, Canadian, Scotsman, Welshman, American, Frenchman, German, Dutchman, Brazillian, Argentinan, Mexican, Russian and Colombian walk into a bar.
Barman says. What’s this? Some sort of joke?
Barman says. What’s this? Some sort of joke?
You. Got moons too?!!
Inb4 these comatose someone 😂
“A 🦨 walks into a bar with his trousers down”
Kinda gotta be there to see and witness the cursed skunkhood
Inb4 these comatose someone 😂
“A 🦨 walks into a bar with his trousers down”
Kinda gotta be there to see and witness the cursed skunkhood
Research shows that cigarettes are actually harmful to children.
Ok calm down, I will use an ashtray
Ok calm down, I will use an ashtray
What should you do when you have a epileptic wife in the bath 😀 👀 throw ya dirty washing in 👊🤣🤣🤣
Lone Ranger and Tonto are out for a morning trek on the plains. Suddenly, Tonto leaps off his horse, goes on all fours and places his ear down to listen.
Lone Ranger, now concerned, asks swiftly: “What is it Tonto?? What do you hear?”
Tonto says: “Buffalo Come.”
Lone Ranger replies: “Wow, that’s amazing Tonto. Truly stunning. How the hell can you tell that?!
Tonto replies “Ear stuck to ground”.
Lone Ranger, now concerned, asks swiftly: “What is it Tonto?? What do you hear?”
Tonto says: “Buffalo Come.”
Lone Ranger replies: “Wow, that’s amazing Tonto. Truly stunning. How the hell can you tell that?!
Tonto replies “Ear stuck to ground”.
Two nuns in a bath. One says "where's the soap?". The other replies "yes, it does, doesn't it?"
It relies on the ambiguity of 'wears' and 'where's', which is much more difficult to convey in a written format.
Hehe....you really don't!
Whats the difference between a duck?
Its got one leg both the same...
Whats the difference between a duck?
Its got one leg both the same...
Recently visited the Doctor as I was having a few “men’s issues”
He told me “I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating”
“Why” I said
“Because I’m trying to examine you”
He told me “I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating”
“Why” I said
“Because I’m trying to examine you”
1. How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.
2. Why couldn't the lifeguard rescue the hippie? Because he was too far out, man.
I couldn't pick between these two, enjoy!
2. Why couldn't the lifeguard rescue the hippie? Because he was too far out, man.
I couldn't pick between these two, enjoy!
The male gypsy moth can smell the female gypsy moth from up to seven miles away.
And that fact also works if you remove the word… “moth.”
And that fact also works if you remove the word… “moth.”
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news
Patient: What’s the good news?
Doctor: The good news is you have 24 hours to live
Patient: Oh shit! What’s the bad news?
Doctor: I couldn't get in touch with you yesterday
Patient: What’s the good news?
Doctor: The good news is you have 24 hours to live
Patient: Oh shit! What’s the bad news?
Doctor: I couldn't get in touch with you yesterday
1 post
+2 votes
LAST ORDERS FOR XMAS!🎄🎁
👍 nice I be ordering if the btc fees allow.
LAST ORDERS FOR XMAS!🎄🎁
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! and shout out to the humbugs like my other half 😉
The shop will not be shutting down for Christmas or New Years; so business will be open as usual! 🥳
however we all know what RM is like at the best of times! that being said Friday 22nd Dec (according to RM) is last orders before Chrimbo!
any orders received will be posted ASAP; as usual, just please bear in mind RM and myself are separate entities, but I will keep you in the loop as best as I can!
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and Trippy new year! 🎄🎁
Cate 💖🍄☮️
The shop will not be shutting down for Christmas or New Years; so business will be open as usual! 🥳
however we all know what RM is like at the best of times! that being said Friday 22nd Dec (according to RM) is last orders before Chrimbo!
any orders received will be posted ASAP; as usual, just please bear in mind RM and myself are separate entities, but I will keep you in the loop as best as I can!
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and Trippy new year! 🎄🎁
Cate 💖🍄☮️
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