So then.
Superhans appeared on here about 9 months ago. In that time he has delievered, i would guess, about 40 odd strains. With a rotation that would put a lithe eastern european olympic gymnast to shame, he has delivered a consistently diverse, extensive menu.
We saw some crackers appear just before, and just after christmas, - the tom ford, gelonade, and the totally tropical taste of fritz. I keep a record, and score of all the strains i try off here (because i’m a fucking nerd), and Hans had already taken over most of the top 10. Not gonna lie, its skewed heavily in his favour at this point, mostly because i dont often buy from other vendors anymore. Ive now tried 31 strains off here and 19 have been from
Hans (19 of the last 22, in fact). But i digress.
This time around, we went for a cheeky little quadrangle of filthy flavours, - Sunset Sherbert, Pink Panties, Pina Acai, and the cherry chocolate gelato. Quite a selection.
Admin wise, hadnt checked biggy for a couple of weeks - saw hans listings, dropped him a message at midnight monday asking him to whack up a custom. By the time i woke up, the custom was up, so purchased at 11.00 tuesday morning. The parcel landed 22 hours later. With hans, this had been standard for me. Only one parcel arrived later than a day, and that was only a couple of days.
Another thing that is standard with Hans is the stealth. To be fair, ive never really had a problem with stealth from any vendors off here, but hans wades in with 5 layers. My wife, an ebay obsessed oddball who sends out loads of stuff weekly, often comments about how well packaged it is (before moaning about me buying more weed). High praise indeed! Crucially, Hans also marks the baggys on multiple orders so know need to play ‘guess the strain’ - somethig. Ive had to do numerous times elsewhere. - little attentions to detail that again, have become standard with this fucker.
Finally, the weight. Never been under with hans. You’re almost dissapponted if the scale lands dead on. This time was similar each bag showing between 5-10% more weightwise, than the respective orders. Maybe hans scales are broke, maybe he believes in customer service, maybe he’s too high to give a fuck - i dont really care! Again, its just standard with him.
First one i went for was the cherry chocolate. Its a really interesting smoke. Broke up nicely - probably wouldnt need a grinder, so a good ‘out and about’ one if you need to roll on the go. Its very smooth, not overpoweringly pungent. Couldnt really taste the cherry, but the chocolate flavour came through surprisingly strongly. Didnt whack me straight in the chops, kind of crept up. I wouldnt say its the strongest thing on the menu, but it definately gets you there. Theres a bit of a bodyload, but not one that slaughters you. Stoneover was more than i expected the next morning mind you. A good solid weed, the interesting flavour boosts it a bit. On its own, probably a 9, and well worth a go, especially if you dont want something thats going to fuck you into next week.
I went for the suunset sherbert next. I didnt find anything particularly distinct about the flavour, but its really nicely cured, dense nuggs, little bit of moistness in there, and again, very smooth on the smoke. Not an instant hit either, but came to the party quicker than the cherry choc. Made my eye twitch for about 10 minutes and then i passed out with dragon quest x1 on the playstation and woke up 8 hours later. We’ll give this a 9, too.
Pina acai came out of the bag next. Im not getting the pineapple here i mumbled to myself, having expecting something similar to the overpowering ‘lilt’ stench of the frittlez. Slightly airier buds on these, not as compact as a lot of hans stuff, ground up lovely. ooh its a nice smoke. Comes on pretty strong, pretty fast, and its in the flavour that the pineapple comes through. Its definately not overpowering, but you can taste it. At one point my wife looked at me and asked me why i was grinning like an idiot. I didnt know. Proper got the gigglepigs for about 30 minutes. Nice sativa high, not a racy one, but pretty ‘active’, the sort thats not going to stop you having your bedtime wank. 10/10.
Pink panties. General rule of thumb with Hans - if it has the word ‘pink’ in the name, its gonna be a banger. This continues that theme. Usual score, dark, dense, stinky nugs, covered in trichs, fluffs up great in a grinder. Of the 4, this one packs the quickest, and probably most powerful punch. Got halfway through joint 1 and had to put it down. Munchies came on strong - ‘large mixed shish kebab please mr kebab man’ - demolished that.
Really bloody smooth as well. Not many do, but this one sent me spinning a bit. Couldnt settle on a game so went for a bit of old school tv - pulled out my dvd of top buzzer and gurned my way through that like ian dowie chewing on a bowl of nettles, whilst getting felt up by dot cotton. Not a pleasant image, but i didnt care at that point. What was i saying again? Exactly. 10/10.
I usually do an update to my rankings and see where the new strains sit. Its all a bit hans friendly at the top now with only elphinstone (tgt) from another vendor making the top 5.
Cherry chocolate 12 (of 31)
Sunset Sherbert 8
Pina Acai 7
Top 5
5) la cake (possibly the strongest ive had off here)
4) pink cookies (a belter, the first major show of intent from hans, he’s gone up a level since)
3) elphinstone (tgt) (fairplay that its sticking in there amongst the hans-ness. Utterly unique)
2)pink panties (unreal)
1) frittlez (just everything you want, plus one of the strongest ‘fruit’ smells and tastes ive ever had in a weed)
Apologies for the novel.
