I suffer greatly. I have a toxic family that doesn't help. Cut out the booze, start exercising and building from the inside. Weight training really helps me. You haven't messed up your life. Tomorrow is a new day. Small steps, little and often. Slowly, day by day you can build. You are not alone.

Thanks mate but tried it all. Managed to give up the booze for a year. Went to the gym four times a week, went swimming, did other shit. Made no difference. Ended up so suicidal my GP did an urgent referral to a psychiatrist. Still under their care and on the drugs they prescribed. Had already done four years on Prozac and four and half years on Sertraline before I saw them. Now been on "California Rocket Fuel" a combination of Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine for six years. Still depressed as fuck which is what has led me here. Considering microdosing shrooms next. Anything to provide some release.

Can't recommend microdosing because I haven't tried it but I know there are lots of studies going on.

I would recommend the Wim Hof method for you as I have to others. Look at any one of his you tube vids and check that comment section.

Ptsd, anxiety, depression, auto immune conditions, skeletal problems and many more suffering individuals are reaping the benefits of cold water therapy and some breathwork.

I started over a year ago and have witnessed the benefits first hand.

Say no to pharma
Get high on your own supply

It may seem patronising, I do not mean to be. I don't know what hardships you've had

Sometimes I have thought too that life can be shitty and wouldn't it be great to change it

often times we cannot

we can only change our perception. I have sometimes allowed the external pressure of life to take its control and impact my mood. I have recently become aware of the fact that everything in this world around us is actually within us and we are a part of all of it.

We use our senses to interact with the world around us. The experience of all of it is 100% an internal affair. We have the power to decide if that twat at work makes us angry. We can decide whether we allow that person or life situation to affect us. To give someone or something the power to affect us in such ways is slavery unto ourselves.

Don't listen to the voice in your head telling you your shit or life is shit. That voice is not you. You are deeper than that. If you look and leave all the shit outside the gate you may find the peace within you.

Cold showers, breathwork, meditation. That's my best advice. Hope it helps

All the best brother

Great advice ❤️

✌️❤️ junebug

Ohh mate, I hear you and been on most of these and some heavy pain stuff.

Everyone’s different, let’s get that out there. What works for some might not others, for me.

Outside of the advice and activities I’ve mentioned. I had to learn and read about how the brain works, how we manage our feelings and stuff. Some are boring but others can really help you visualise the demon AND understand yours and how to keep them at bay day at a time to slowly improve.

Change is hard and slow but never too late!

Mirtzapine was my final med before I was off them for good ( just weed, coffee and gaming now, and a good bit of porn).

It was a very hard journey, but set a written plan, have a wall of activities, some you’ll hate for the mood, some might work .

You’re a smart fella I’ve read most your posts, you got this.

Cbd weed is good too now, nice flavours and feeling without being baked.

Care looking at path of new drug to replace and fix issue, need to drill down and find your demon and it’s tactics to rid ❤️

I'm really sorry to hear that, man. I hope you at least get some respite this weekend. But, there are many of us here to listen. If your own cloud is grey, try to be a rainbow on someone else's... If I am unhelpable, then maybe I can help someone else. Wishing you well today.

We can highly recommend micro-dosing and have many clients that use it for depression. We know from personal experience shroomies help alot too. Only thing is with these kinds of meds is you cannot be taking any big pharma stuff or use alcohol in anyway. And as much as we love herb and believe in the power it has too, its better to use it when you're in a good mental state otherwise it could actually make things worse...that's our experience anyway.

Its best to not only rely on one thing like friends said here below...exercise..healhty diet...who you surround yourself with combined with the use of psychedelics is a good place to start :-) and of course then there is Ayahuasca...there are many tools but in the end its all about your will...you need to really want to change your life...own it and then things will start to change ;-)

Best of luck friend

Might sound silly to some, but do you game at all mate?

Age is irrelevant there’s a game for everyone ❤️

Online one would let you find little community too, and there’s always someone awake around the world to chill with.

Helps keep mind occupied on game, and then social elements too 👍

Only game I play is an MMO called World of Tanks. Been playing it off an on for ten years. Sometimes I can get lost in it, but it's become harder recently.

Ohhh nice did you ever check out the warship one?

I used to play a destroyer 💪

Never really appealed to me, not sure why. Just something about the tanks ticks the right boxes for me. 😊👍

Dude world of warships is so sick! not gonna lie, a friend of mine used to play this game and at a point he wanted to play with me together, I was instantly hooked by the game, it really is fun :)

Or you can lose yourself in 15hrs of techno and progressive on my Spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5h8gaFSmZgh1YDYm4M1jub?si=42479276977d4d9b

Would you like to try a guided meditation?

I can link a good one

Hello Khasi,
sorry to hear that you experience your life the way you do. Since we are not knowing each other we dont know in what kind of situation you are in and the way you got to this point of depression. We don’t recommend drug consume when feeling lonely or depressed since it is a devils circle which will make you even more mentally dependent. Life is not shit, life is your responsibility and what you make out of it. Most important thing is to distract yourself the right way, do sports and what you like and what you are passionate about,eat healthy, tomorrow you can always be the better version of the yesterday, every single day. Anyways we wish you just the best in coping with your depression, stay safe and feel hugged, you are not the only one suffering from depression.
<3

its hard to motivate exercise or even a walk when you feel like this but it has a better success ratio than weed when you are really in the hole mate.

jah bless.

Try find hobby, go outside try not to spend lots of time sitting home, riding bike helps me a lot

Fair point. One of the problems with depression is that it kills your motivation. It gets harder to get out and do new things. I walk my dog 4.5 miles a day and that does help. I used to cycle commute every day when I was working! But I'm 67 now and not in the best physical health.

I’m really sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. Depression is tough and especially when you’re having struggles with your health.

Trying to do what you can to be active is helpful, I found doing mindfulness pretty helpful. I was sceptical but found it pretty positive to take some time out and quiet the noise in your mind and also help you be a bit kinder to yourself.

I’m not sure self-medicating is easy to get right.

I find some kinds of weed helpful some have the opposite effect. Cbd can be good for anxiety and there seems to be a good amount of evidence that psilocybin can help with depression, whether that be the larger dose or micro. Whether that’s right for your situation I don’t know.

I hope that you find some way through things and manage to get into a more positive state of mind.

Eye of the tiger and all that jazz.

Thanks man for such a thoughtful comment. I agree self-medicating is a very inexact science and so easy to get wrong. That said, my own experience of how inexact medicating by professionals can be makes me think experimenting personally and following your instincts to try new things has the potential to lead you to positive outcomes.

Good point, I think you’re right.

Hi Khasi

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.

If anything this thread is 40+ posts so you're not alone.

I went through this 6 years ago and it took a while for it to stop.

Now am wary of pharma treatments as I've seen several people get hooked without thier symptoms improving or going away.

What is more there is controversial evidence regarding Prozac possibly increasing suicidal thoughts:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluoxetine

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2000/may/22/drugs.uknews

If you can get hold of the latest New Scientist magazine there is an article about latest findings about depression and possible new treatments, I haven't bought it yet:

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg25734220-100-fresh-ideas-about-the-causes-of-depression-are-bringing-new-treatments

Now there is plenty of good advice and supprt from nice biggas in this thread but I would offer a word of warning about mushrooms: do not use them on your own.

I do that myself but am a user with 25+ years of experience. They can send you to heaven but also to hell so do not try to self-medicate with psychedelics.

If you want to try them by any means try to join one of the experimental UK studies in a clinical setting with a medical professional.

I hope you do get better

Your not alone Khasi. I live in a caravan in a field in the middle of nowhere on my own. Not by choice but as a result of really painful split with the mother of my child who I still love and care for to this day. I suffer terribly with loneliness, self doubt and depression. 3 years on my own and I still don't feel independent or strong and at times I've wanted to give up. I get through it because I believe it will change and because I want to see my daughter grow up and be happy.
Drugging yourself does not make you happy. Booze makes you more sensitive and clouds your head, weed can make you overthink everything and while they may numb your pain and help you drop off it will wear off at about 3am and you'll wake up and be restless and feel depressed.
We all make mistakes in life, I know I have, but to forever see yourself in a bad light is harmful to you and others. I'm sure you've done some good things in your life, whether for yourself or helping others. Remember those things and give yourself some credit. Now plan to go and help someone, do a nice thing for somebody. They will see the real you and that is who they will remember. You will hopefully see a change in yourself when you feel appreciated. Happiness comes from what you give not what you get. Good luck my friend, Feel free to message via this post anytime. I'll always listen and help if I can :)

I just wanted to thank you for your comment LionOfJudah. I took a lot from it.

Bro/sis ur right life is shit!! But it can be better!!! Sometimes you just need to sit bk and reevaluate your life,goals,aspirations and see how you put the shit in a bag and in the bin.... there's always gonna be that bit shit in ur life its just how you deal with it that matters... my other half has depression and she has just recently started on a vape and it's changed her moods dramatically... I've never been a fan of doctors depression/mood medication as its all just basically shit... everyone's different bro try what natural medicine you can... its on this planet for a reason bro.... Best of luck to you ✌️✌️✌️

Are you a homeowner?

Yes mate. Still paying a mortgage till I'm 75 if I live that long.

Ever thought about selling up and moving somewhere cheaper or just going to do voluntary work in some hot country?

Maybe if I was younger mate but I'm 67. I wouldn't have the energy. Plus I have two kids and my house always remains their home for when they want to visit. And I'm still being treated for cancer so kind of want to stick with what I know if you know what I mean.

Sorry I forgot about that last bit.

No worries mate 👍

Hi Khasi

I didn't know you have cancer.

Hopefully you're one of those people who have a good loving relaitonship with their kids - hopefully.

Going back to the mushrooms if anything you might want to get in touch with the folks at the Imperial College London Psychedelic Research Centre - they are looking for participants for a microdoing clinical trial:

https://www.imperial.ac.uk/psychedelic-research-centre/trials/microdosing-study-20/

There is also one at King's College London:

https://www.kcl.ac.uk/research/psilocybin-in-depression-resistant-to-standard-treatments-psider-study

I'm not trying to tell you what to do but whatever you do do not take mushrooms on your own if you never had any.

💯

life is some journey. we probably do it to ourselves. choices and decisions old boy, bit of a buzz kill but do this = that. if i drink those beers (i drink) what is the likely result. hugs and uggs x

believe me I know mate. I have 67 years of choices, decisions and actions to mull over and regret. I've fucked my own life up, that's one thing I'm under no illusions about!

i've been in rehearsals (character development) 44 years.

Wish I could say it gets better. Hope it does for you mate.

Chin up, you sound like a good person, i've respect for my elders, some older folks are nasty and bitter.
I'm never lonely, was bitten by Christianity at a very early age and my faith keeps me going.
I was content and comfortable with the thought of physical death as early as my late teens /very early twenties.
This life is just a ride.💫🙏

this bigga

thank you mate, i feel life is getting better. rolling this nice j

You sound like a fellow thesp! Go theatre!

Try and be more positive man, you can't change yesterday, but tomorrow is always better!

67 years young. There is always time to change. Remember to use 'up to now' more because forever is a long time!

Just come back to this thread I started probably three or four years ago. Been interesting reading through some of the great and helpful advice I was given. Don't even know if those people are still active on here but if they are thanks again guys. All these years on I'm still depressed and lonely but reading through your comments really gave me an unexpected lift. Making even online contact with strangers can be really helpful. Bottom line is we're social creatures and we all benefit from connecting somehow.