Sunday 3pm: took 0.80g APEs. Just under a gram. Ground up and thrown in a glass of tymbark cactus juice which is always a good choice.
3:20pm: starting to feel it slightly. I was rally surprised how quick that was. Usually it’s around 45 mins until it kicks in.
3:30pm: Jesus fucking Christ I’m starting to feel it. It’s definitely a mix of the strength of the mushrooms, and general low tolerance, which I used to hate as a younger person, as an example, not being able to keep up with friends when It came to alcohol, I gave up drinking because I actually hated it, getting stoned as fuck after half a spliff and always pulling a whitey after one bong, weed really isn’t for me.
3:45: complete sedation. The room is “melting” as it’s usually put. My plants and dried flowers I have around my place are melting downwards where the leaves/flowers droop down, the doors are pulling downwards and my arms are starting to feel like they’re detaching from my body, I go grab my headphones and corn snacks and get fully ready for it. I open up the corn snacks, and every time I crunch on one I can visualise my whole skull and jaw and teeth moving as I’m eating. all the skin on my head feels detached and it’s as if it’s hovering a centimetre away from my skull and face. Time to put my headphones on. So I grab my MP3 player (old skool kool) and press play randomly. Never find a girl by Steve hiett start playing. I couldn’t stop laughing and being in awe at how amazingly clear and atmospheric it sounded. It took over my whole body. I grab my quilt and get back on the sofa which felt like such a huge effort due to feeling so sedated and drunk. My legs are slightly giving way.
4:00pm: starting to get the visual overlay of patterns. The only way to describe it is when you cut a garlic bulb in half but across and you see the pattern of all the bulbs inside the clove. Just that type of pattern all across my vision. I close my eyes and I see what feels like flickering lights and the smooshy geometric patterns swirling around like a warm lava lamp. with the last of my energy I changed the music and put on music for psychedelic therapy by Jon Hopkins. I curl up under the quilt and close my eyes. My whole body starts detatching itself from my joints. Arms feel separated from my shoulders, Hands separated from my wrists, feet separated from my ankles, legs separated from my hips. peaking hard after an hour.
My vision is all the patterns and shapes and landscapes that are quite hard to describe but the only way I can describe it is that it felt like I was having a full on DMT breakthrough. The music is sending me hard. The visuals are smashing my brain. I’m floating off the sofa. Nothing else exists except my visuals. My thoughts became almost like an orb like sphere and moved into the corner of the visual landscape. I could still think, but they would be encased inside this sphere. this is where it starts to get profound..
Through the melting colourful patterns and visual landscapes and white noise, a face started slowly pushing through. I have no idea who it is for a while but the face turns into a whole head and is moving around my visuals and looking around. As I start to gain clarity on the persons head, it turns out it’s my mother, and we start having a conversation about all types of things. As some historical context, I did find out when before I was born, she used to do a lot of mushrooms. My aunty told me that she always made a tea from them. Due to certain circumstances that I’d rather not go into full detail with, she ran away when I was 4 years old and I never saw her again. So back to the trip.. This is what stood out the most and I’m still thinking about it. Through the conversation she says “before you were born I was thinking about you. You were in my hallucinations for a long time until you became real”. This was the emotional part and just let the rest of the visuals and the crazy stuff just take over and so many thoughts as a child started coming through. Remembering the sad part of her vanishing and even before that. all the scenes that I forgot had started showing through from what my brain had filed away. As the album got towards the end, the crying started. a lot of things started to make so much sense now.
5:00pm: the album is finishing and I stay under the quilt for a while longer to digest everything. It was the most spiritual and profound trip I’ve had to date. So much so that I had to write about it. I’m still really surprised how hard it hit me in such a short time. i get up from under the quilt and the sedated feeling has completely gone. Still having wavy visuals and the feeling of seretonin flushing through my body. It’s a buzzing sensation. My body feels normal again. I feel reattached. My brain is chilling out. My skull is normal. I spend the rest of my trip calling my girlfriend and trying to describe everything that happened. My mental clarity is amazing.
8:00pm: fully back to normal again but still feeling that “afterglow”.
It’s Thursday now and this week has been very interesting with a lot of thoughts about what happened. i didn’t get any answers as people usually do mushrooms for, I wasn’t looking for anything, but I guess it came to find me instead. So I’m super happy I did it and I can’t wait until the next trip.
