What’s up potsmokers?
Lockdown madness am I right? So, so much smoking going on right now… Hope you are all in abundance of the healing herb for these crazy times, man knows I need it…
So…been a while…done been smoking up evvvverrything I can lay hands on…few bangers, few averages, you know the grind(er)…but a recent bit of post has got the Shed feeling like laying some words down for those that read this shit…Does anyone? Who knows, who cares…not me ha…it’s terribly liberating to write stuff that you don’t give a fuck if anyone reads it or not…
Soooo…another new vendor on the block…arggghhhh….pitchforks at the ready, grab the nine off the shelf, sharpen ya shanks……Raarrrrrrrrr…..lets’s get them….fucking vendors, who needs them????
It’s all been a bit weird to me actually…granted, I am very new here but…
I understand that there was an issue with a vendor doxing in the past but I also understand that prior to the fall out the vendor was providing a decent service…strikes me that aforementioned vendor has turned out to be not as trustworthy as initially thought and has also then not reacted well to conflict on a personal level by the sounds of it…but my question is though; how is instant and prolonged harassment of new vendors going to establish if this is likely to happen in the future??
My personal view is that more decent vendors on Lb would surely be for the betterment of us all right? More vendors, more choice, more competition and better prices for us smokers no? Maybe I’m fucking dumb and not getting it but …. My preferred method for road testing new vendors is to contact them, have a little chat, feel them out in terms of responsiveness and professionalism and if I am happy with how that goes, I place a small order no bigger than what I could afford to lose if it came to it… either turns up or it doesn’t….hasn’t not turned up yet but if it ever doesn’t well then I will cry all over Lb to try and let everyone know it’s a sly vendor and never use them again….
I could just rock up on to their page and cunt them off for relentlessly for days in a row and ask loads of direct questions such as exactly where they source their goods etc but it seems like hard work with no real aim in sight…but..horses for courses, everyone has their methods, who am I to say what’s best?...All I know is that I wouldn’t dream of rocking up in any of my old street dealers houses and start chatting this kind of shit to them…it’s not really how it’s worked over my years…think my face would look different if I had tried it in some of the places I used to have to go...maybe it’s different now and the kids can cunt their dealer off on insta? I don’t know…mad things…. It’s not how I like to do business personally…
So, welcome to DOJO DANK – New Kids on The Block, I like dojos and I like dank so I guess subconsciously these chaps struck a chord with me?! So, going with my preferred methodology I did a little buy for some modestly priced Blue Dawg which went well before moving on to something a little pricier…
Not going to lie - £10 a gram makes me fucking shudder. I have been paying £100 max for a half oz of half decent bud for probably 10 years now…however, as you will all know, the average street deal is that you get what you are given, no choices, no idea what strain it is half the time etc etc…hence the appeal of our little oasis right here LB, however, the cost of things is something that the Shed is having trouble adjusting to – but after 3 days of straight monging at the pictures of some ‘Cali Slurricane’ , coupled with a bit of lockdown fever and a newfound sky high tolerance….I found myself hitting that deadly little fucker….the ‘buy’ button….
Ah fuck it…who needs to eat when you can be smoking the weed of the Gods right? Or so they tell me…alright, it’s done now, let’s sit back and wait for the sunshine to slide through my letterbox yeah… I’m going to be like a fucking G of the weed world or some shit, can’t wait…
*** Delivery/Stealth - Sunshine Delivery ***
This was the second of two deliveries I have had from Dojo – very timely service given current conditions, no complaints with speed. Stealth is average. No terrible smells emanating but could be a close thing with some real stinky shit…maybe an extra layer somewhere would be good. It is a physically unprotected delivery so you are a little at the mercy of the postie to not smash your buds to pieces….or if you ensure that you only order rock hard, dense as Trump nugs that the postie can’t flatten if he tries….you’ll be ok!
*** First Look – Staring into the Sun ***
Yeah. I mean, yeah. Fucking looks the part to me. I have only ever had one bit of weed that looked and felt like this and that was some UK Mochi Gelato from the legend that is Ronald1776. Real fucking hard, like rocks of weed – you can literally apply real pressure and the bud barely moves, mad shit. Barly any bit of leaf in sight, this bud is trimmed to the bud, like to.the.bud. The trim bag from these grows must be fucking stupendous…. Looks good, no obscene evidence of PGR’s, very nice to behold unto thine eye!
Now, weirdly enough, (or not, you tell me?), it didn’t really smell that much. Now don’t get me wrong, obviously the shit smells like weed, nice weed but I was just expecting it to really hum you know. Had a nice smell and it built up in the jar over the couple of days it lasted but yeah, not a proper stinker. Little but of a pungent, earthy smell, maybe a bit piney/peppery, really not what I expected but still very pleasant.
Maybe this is something to do with it having supposedly come from Cali to here?? It’s still mad to me that weed could get from Cali to here in any kind of decent condition to be honest, it must take fucking weeks for wholesale amounts to get here by which time surely it’s past it’s best? Shit, I don’t know…but…didn’t smell as much as I expected either in the jar or smoking it…down to my personal expectations that one though.
*** Smoking the Sunshine ***
Alright, time to wrap and smash, turn and burn, blaze to amaze….let’s roll a fat ass joint to check it out….Buds are dense and grind sweet, doesn’t go as far as I thought it would though. Being so dense I popped a little nug in and was hoping to get a great fat basket of grind but not so much. On blazing I am surprised again….a really peppery, woody kind of taste – really not as ‘weedy’ as I was expecting – definitely a little bit different from everything else I am smoking at the moment. And then another weird thing happens….when I look down it seems that I have smashed half a j already…this stuff smokes smoooooth. Strange sensation actually…take a long hard drag and it just burns and toots smooth, smooth, when I actually observe my own exhale I am puffing out vape style clouds on this little fuck…mmmm very nice actually. Again, none of what I was expecting but Saul Goodman you know.
But….here’s the big question…am I fucking stoned? Am I like, double money weed Cali G homeboy stoned? Am I skunked out enough to go crazy and grab my weaponry and rampage down the streets like a drug crazed madman?
Well…Yet another weird thing….I don’t think I actually get that head stoned anymore…I am a constant smoker and being stoned is more the norm than the not so high isn’t something that generally happens anymore so I’m chilling in my chair, feeling nice and maybe a little higher than norm but it’s when I go to get up that the extra spend kicks in…
I’m heading back to the house from the weed lab and I can literally feel myself fling my arms and legs around like some kind of fucking joey? The body stone is running through me like I got a million of those little Inner Space submarines running around me or something….legs and arms feel super light and slightly out of control and I’m marching up the garden like some kind of fucking crazed storm trooper with a wobbly march…oh fucking sort it out man, you look like Pinocchio on the piss…
*** Final Thoughts on being a Cali G Super Smoker ***
Yeah I mean, I’m not going to lie, I really fucking liked that weed and would love to smoke shit like that all the time. Is it from Cali is it not? Man, do I know, do I care…not really…. Better weed will cost more money – does it matter where it came from?? I’m not a brand snob so it’s not something that bothers me. As I say, the only bit of weed I have had come close to this is UK Mochi Gelato which was very similar in terms of appearance and density and high. Both this and Dojos Slurricane were both cut above everything else I smoke generally. Why and how? Dunno. I’m no weed scientist, just an avid bud murderer and this bit of bud got me just a bit higher than the average weed…
The vendor – Dojo Dank – I have had nothing but smooth sailing with them on 2 buys now – Thanks Dojo, nice to be acquainted - good comms, quick post, products as described. If you are reading this review and you have seen all the crap spattered all over LB in the last few weeks about them, I urge you to conduct your own testings/ findings, they seem like a good bunch of lads to me so far and seem to have some decent, albeit low volume, sources. For me, it’s going to be one to keep an eye on for those little birthday smokes or special treats when I’m feeling a bit big man, the Shed is honestly waaaay out his league on Lb ha ha…still fucking here though…
Stay safe Biggas – keep smoking and all this will blow over soon
Peace to all the weed smokers
