Okay, I’m going to try and verbalise through text the last couple of weeks.
I live with CPTSD and I treat it with cannabis mostly…always.
I received the medicine and decided to wait until the next day before trying as I wasn’t in work (I work in a middle class bar)
This has been a process over a few weeks, even though I only received the medicine a week ago. I’m going to try to explain.
The first morning of sampling the medicine I followed the directions and put one drop under my tongue followed up with 40 minutes of hemisync meditation. Upon completion I walked to the common and fed the crows as per usual…except this time the trees were breathing. I couldn’t “see” it, but I saw it.
I got called into work as they had no staff, which was fine, just an issue I had to deal with at that moment in time. It’s fine. On the way into work I was looking at everything…I saw a pigeon strutting along and behind him was a boy in a blazer with pure intent to kick that pigeon…by pure chance I happened to walk where I needed to be to take the kick rather than the pigeon…shit like that kept happening alll day.
The next day I worked, the following day I tried one drop of the medicine with similar results except for the child in the blazer.
Another couple of days of work and when I had a day off I decided to try again, this time two drops. After taking the medicine I went to a wooded area I know and waited for the medicine to take effect…for me this was a much better dose. I wasn’t tripping…but I wasn’t not tripping. Obviously I had a moment between me a crow and a squirrel…but you don’t need to know about that.
I tried a few more “double” dosages to similar affect. That’s the sweet spot for me.
I found an element of my behaviour I wasn’t happy with over the weekend so I decided to follow it see what was going on. I snorted half a gram of ketamine and started dancing to Pulp, within a few minutes I became a spiral as I breathed in and a cogged spiral when I breathed out…then I became an atom and fell into the fabric of reality and settled within a massive spiral that encompassed life. Spent an age there. When I came around on my bed I took a “double” micro dose to analyse what I had experienced.
For the week before my girlfriend had been complaining about snails eating a plant that she’s been growing and she laid some of the blue snail killer stuff so since then I’ve been capturing snails and explaining that if they stay here they will die and putting them in the garden next door…I would talk to the spiral…it’s sacred right?
So yeah…the spiral. After the ketamine trip and the “double” dose I was watching my girlfriend poke the mud with a fork thing and she turned and gave me a snail shell…spiral side facing…my ketamine trip (other mes favourite way of processing shit) barged into my LSD “trip” very rudely to remind me of my place within the breathing spiral (which, as an atom, was all of it) of life.
After a couple of weeks I have stopped waking up with a bolt of fear (obviously I’ve been doing a lot of shadow work whilst going through this journey) and I feel more connected to me, myself, nature and every single human being I have encountered…even the kid in the blazer has an element of me in him.
I’ve read that microdosing could be a placebo, I have had nothing but positive results and will be ordering more…just dosed differently (20 instead of ten)
I’ve spoke to the “seller” a number of times about some random shit and they’re always up for a chat. Couldn’t ask for a better seller of medicine.
