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joined feb 2021
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7 posts by Nblue
2 posts
+2 votes
XMAS CUT OFFS :) and 28G GIVEAWAY
Thanks for the chance 🎄
+ 2 more
XMAS CUT OFFS :) and 28G GIVEAWAY
Hey guys, just some info on our XMAS posting dates.
Even with RM being a shambles, we are wroking through XMAS.
We will be posting the following dates;
21/12
23/12
29/12
30/12
Then we are back 04/01/2023
We will be taking orders throughout this period.
We just ask you all to be patient as this time of the year deliveires do get delayed.
Now to the good part, we will be doing a 28G giveaway to 1 lucky person.
Like and Comment on this post and we will assign you with a number,
Only 1 number per person!
We will then use a random number generator to pick, and post the photo on here with a time stamp.
Winner will be chosen on 22/12
We wish you all a fantastic XMAS and a fantastic new year.
LOTS OF LOVE
TGT X :)
Even with RM being a shambles, we are wroking through XMAS.
We will be posting the following dates;
21/12
23/12
29/12
30/12
Then we are back 04/01/2023
We will be taking orders throughout this period.
We just ask you all to be patient as this time of the year deliveires do get delayed.
Now to the good part, we will be doing a 28G giveaway to 1 lucky person.
Like and Comment on this post and we will assign you with a number,
Only 1 number per person!
We will then use a random number generator to pick, and post the photo on here with a time stamp.
Winner will be chosen on 22/12
We wish you all a fantastic XMAS and a fantastic new year.
LOTS OF LOVE
TGT X :)
Wow! 😵💫….that is just outrageous 🤩….what a buzz and on Xmas Eve too🎅….I genuinely never win anything normally🤷♂️
Congrats to Sam508 (14g) and TheDazzler(7g) as I will be honouring all side bets!😂😢😂
Million thanks TGT, this must be the most popular promo uptake of the year!
HAPPY XMAS ONE AND ALL!! 🎅💥🎅
Congrats to Sam508 (14g) and TheDazzler(7g) as I will be honouring all side bets!😂😢😂
Million thanks TGT, this must be the most popular promo uptake of the year!
HAPPY XMAS ONE AND ALL!! 🎅💥🎅
Congrats pollypuff20 a worthy winner Indeed!! Merry Xmas... your defo having a good new year 🤣🤣🍁🍁🎅🎅
Has it fuck 😭
I’m smoking the dust off the last Druids matw.
That was supposed to be my Xmas stash 🤣
I’m smoking the dust off the last Druids matw.
That was supposed to be my Xmas stash 🤣
😂 ahh, if only twas true 😅 Although we did both just win on the Druids poetry comp..😉
We can do a swap when we get the numbers if you want 😂. Wait… now Im paranoid my number is the winning one and now I’ve given it to you. Ahhhhhhhh….. maybe we don’t swap…. But now I’m thinking maybe you have the winning one….. ahhhhh brain over load 🤯😂😵💫🙃✌️💚
We can do a swap when we get the numbers if you want 😂. Wait… now Im paranoid my number is the winning one and now I’ve given it to you. Ahhhhhhhh….. maybe we don’t swap…. But now I’m thinking maybe you have the winning one….. ahhhhh brain over load 🤯😂😵💫🙃✌️💚
Easy mate, swap numbers and if either of us win we split it 14g each. 2 x chances of winning right there!😻🥂
Sounds like a good deal to me Mrs 🦊 👍
When our powers combine… we will summon Captain Planet!! 💪 🦸 I mean….. win a comp 🥳😂💚🎁
When our powers combine… we will summon Captain Planet!! 💪 🦸 I mean….. win a comp 🥳😂💚🎁
Now the question is who is who ???? Lol 😆
I found a comp I did not enter 🤦♂️ I’m losing touch ha ha ha
I found a comp I did not enter 🤦♂️ I’m losing touch ha ha ha
24/12 1pm….
Anybody know who won?….I can’t see it it anywhere 😵💫
Congrats to whoever it was and Merry Xmas Biggas!🎅🎅
Anybody know who won?….I can’t see it it anywhere 😵💫
Congrats to whoever it was and Merry Xmas Biggas!🎅🎅
NO MORE ENTRIES GUYS !
We have 175 numbers, 23/12.
We will be announing the winner on this post today.
KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED :)
We have 175 numbers, 23/12.
We will be announing the winner on this post today.
KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED :)
Happy new year to you all :)
We are suspended from the wall atm, but we are still active, so please do find us and place your orders as normal.
If you see this message show us some love :)
We are suspended from the wall atm, but we are still active, so please do find us and place your orders as normal.
If you see this message show us some love :)
That sounds rather nice thank you and very much in the spirit of Christmas. Wishing you and all on here seasons greetings and a happy new year.
hands down the best vendors on this site!! never seen any others do competitions and freebies the way u guys do!
Ill grab a number please, thanks GreenTeam. Looking forward to trying your items in the new year. :-)
Always worth a shot merry Xmas to one and all on the lb forum and a happy new year.
Count me in if not to late
Count me in if not to late
Merry Christmas, hope I'm not too late to join the fun. Hope everyone has a green Christmas 🌲 💚
Merry Xmas , thank you for all the goods ( the lemon haze hash is my favourite on here!) and will certainly get some more next year!
Just received my first order from you guys and cant fault it, lovely stuff :D
Would be stoked to win an xmas Oz!
Count me in!
Would be stoked to win an xmas Oz!
Count me in!
Sweet giveaway tgt!
Sign me up!
Oz of the cantaloupe would last me till next year's competition.
Seasons greetings Biggaz!
Sign me up!
Oz of the cantaloupe would last me till next year's competition.
Seasons greetings Biggaz!
Yes Please... I'm in!!
Merry Christmas TGT and to all fellow Biggas.
Home Alone is definitey happening 💯
Merry Christmas TGT and to all fellow Biggas.
Home Alone is definitey happening 💯
2 posts
+6 votes
BEST JOKE
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together, we can stop this shit!
+ 2 more
BEST JOKE
I've just boxed up two x 3.5 baked in Paris
Whoever tells the best joke today will get a Henry and will be able to choose their favourite joke and award the other 8th their favourite.
Mite even have few runner up prizes.
Let's bring some laughs and positivity today guys
Whoever tells the best joke today will get a Henry and will be able to choose their favourite joke and award the other 8th their favourite.
Mite even have few runner up prizes.
Let's bring some laughs and positivity today guys
Did you know that people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones..... but people in Abu Dhabi do
I was considering a geography pun, but on second thought there's Norway I'd go Oslo as that.
Farmer walks into the bedroom where his wife is in bed and he has got a sheep under his arm.
He says: “This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache”
She says: “That’s a sheep”
He says: “I was talking to the sheep”
🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖😁😉
He says: “This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache”
She says: “That’s a sheep”
He says: “I was talking to the sheep”
🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖🐑🐖😁😉
Cop asks the guy, “How high are you?” The guy responded with, “No, officer. It’s ‘Hi, how are you.
The other day a woman described me as a looker.... well 'voyeur' was the actual word she used... 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤣🤣🤣
Abit on the dark side but it’s a comp so..
Why did hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill
Why did hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill
Woman goes into a bar, orders a double entendre
So the barman gives her one.
My favourite word is 'many', it means a lot to me.
An Imam, a Vicar, and a rabbit go to give blood
doctor looks at the rabbit, and asks 'what blood type are you?'
Rabbit say 'I'm type O'
So the barman gives her one.
My favourite word is 'many', it means a lot to me.
An Imam, a Vicar, and a rabbit go to give blood
doctor looks at the rabbit, and asks 'what blood type are you?'
Rabbit say 'I'm type O'
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One was called Justin and the other was called Christian. Life was good, except that the prawns were constantly being chased and threatened by sharks. Finally one day, Justin said to Christian, "I'm tired of being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten."
Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swam off, afraid of being eaten up by his old friend.
Time went by and Justin found himself bored and lonely as a shark. All his old pals were afraid of him and swam away whenever he came near. Then one day he was out swimming and saw the mysterious cod.
"I want to be a prawn again," said Justin. "Please change me back!" And lo and behold, the cod changed him back to a prawn. With tears of joy in his little eyes, Justin swam to Christian's house and knocked on the door. "It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me!" he shouted.
"No," said Christian. "I'll not be tricked. You're a shark and you will eat me!"
Justin cried back, "No, I'm not! That was the old me. I've changed. I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"
Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swam off, afraid of being eaten up by his old friend.
Time went by and Justin found himself bored and lonely as a shark. All his old pals were afraid of him and swam away whenever he came near. Then one day he was out swimming and saw the mysterious cod.
"I want to be a prawn again," said Justin. "Please change me back!" And lo and behold, the cod changed him back to a prawn. With tears of joy in his little eyes, Justin swam to Christian's house and knocked on the door. "It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me!" he shouted.
"No," said Christian. "I'll not be tricked. You're a shark and you will eat me!"
Justin cried back, "No, I'm not! That was the old me. I've changed. I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"
So I took a poll recently... and 100% of people were quite annoyed that their tent had fallen down 🤣🤣🤣✌️🍁
Jimmy Saville, Stuart Hall and Fred Talbot walk into an irish bar.
barman says "oh no, not yew tree again!"
barman says "oh no, not yew tree again!"
Two elderly ladies sitting on a park bench. Guy comes over and flashes his dick. One of the ladies had a stroke, the other couldn't quite reach.
Hi all 👍 Check this joke out 🤣🧐......
A teacher attempts to teach 3rd graders about the human body, so she shows a drawing of the male reproductive organ and asks the class what it is.
One of her students, Bobbie, answers: “I know. My father has two.”
Teacher: “Really? How does he have two?”
Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”🤣🤣🤣
A teacher attempts to teach 3rd graders about the human body, so she shows a drawing of the male reproductive organ and asks the class what it is.
One of her students, Bobbie, answers: “I know. My father has two.”
Teacher: “Really? How does he have two?”
Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”🤣🤣🤣
I was visiting the US and wanted to get some solid one afternoon. I called the nearest marijuana dispensary and got this recorded message… “If you want to buy marijuana press the hash key now.”
Why are pirates called pirates?
Cos they arrrgggh.
Where do pirates shop at Xmas?
Arrrgggos
Cos they arrrgggh.
Where do pirates shop at Xmas?
Arrrgggos
A binman turns up at some blokes door.
"Where's your bin mate?"
The man says "I just bin to the toilet"
Binman says "No mate, where's your dustbin?"
The man replies "I told you, I dustbin to the toilet"
Binman says "cmon mate where's your wheelie bin??"
Man says "OK,OK, I wheelie bin having a wank" 🍆
"Where's your bin mate?"
The man says "I just bin to the toilet"
Binman says "No mate, where's your dustbin?"
The man replies "I told you, I dustbin to the toilet"
Binman says "cmon mate where's your wheelie bin??"
Man says "OK,OK, I wheelie bin having a wank" 🍆
Holy fuck. I'm sat smoking and dieing now. Holy Jesus balls!! Cough cough pass to myself cough cough
Feeling a bit on edge smoking in my garden today - my neighbour's turned his house into a Rehab Centre.
At least I think he has. There's a new sign on his front garden that says "Keep off the grass"
At least I think he has. There's a new sign on his front garden that says "Keep off the grass"
Giving it an hour then choosing a winner guy's.
It's close between 3 of you cheeky chappies.
Then the winner chooses their favourite joke ok.
It's close between 3 of you cheeky chappies.
Then the winner chooses their favourite joke ok.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
A clown showed up late for work on his first day and got sacked from the circus.
He's suing them for funfair dismissal.
He's suing them for funfair dismissal.
When I have a hot date, I like to get them to help me to choose some wine for dinner beforehand. It's a great way to get them into my basement and I only have to cook for myself then.
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a baguette in a cage!?!?
Apparently it was bread in captivity 🥁
Apparently it was bread in captivity 🥁
- Doctor Doctor I can’t stop wrapping myself in Cling Film!
- Well I can clearly see your nuts!
- Well I can clearly see your nuts!
A duck walks into a pub. He goes up the bar and the barman says "Hello mate, what can I get you?" "Got any bread?" asks the duck. "Sorry we don't sell bread." came the reply. The duck thinks for a moment "Hhhmmmm... Got any bread?" The barman says again, this time slightly short "No, we don't sell bread." "Ok... In that case... Got any bread?"
The barman is now getting angry and shouts "Listen you fucking stupid duck, I've told you twice and now a third time WE DON'T SELL BREAD! If you ask me for fucking bread again, I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?" asks the duck.
"NOOO! I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS!"
"Got any bread?"
The barman is now getting angry and shouts "Listen you fucking stupid duck, I've told you twice and now a third time WE DON'T SELL BREAD! If you ask me for fucking bread again, I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?" asks the duck.
"NOOO! I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILS!"
"Got any bread?"
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't let a lentil on my face, but I would let a chick pea
I wouldn't let a lentil on my face, but I would let a chick pea
Little Jimmy goes to see his priest and says “ Father, I don’t believe in Jesus any more. Every night I pray for a new bike and every morning? No bike!”.
The priest replies “ Ah, young James. That’s not how prayer in the Catholic Church works. What you need to do is go out and steal a bike then pray for forgiveness”.
The priest replies “ Ah, young James. That’s not how prayer in the Catholic Church works. What you need to do is go out and steal a bike then pray for forgiveness”.
Dunno if you can handle my jokes but ill try you with one and see how it goes .
Little jenny comes home from school and says
Dad dad can i go to the disco friday ?
Dad answers i suppose so but only if you suck my cock !!
Jenny replys oh ffs if i have to ..
1 min later she stops and says dad this really tastes like shit..
Dad replys yeah your brother asked half hour ago .
Little jenny comes home from school and says
Dad dad can i go to the disco friday ?
Dad answers i suppose so but only if you suck my cock !!
Jenny replys oh ffs if i have to ..
1 min later she stops and says dad this really tastes like shit..
Dad replys yeah your brother asked half hour ago .
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
I just bought some shoes from a dealer, I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day!
Too late for the comp, but sometimes reality is just....well....you couldn't make it up eh? 🤣
A former heavyweight boxer from Montenegro was charged by the U.S. Department of Justice on Monday with trafficking in 22 tons of cocaine worth over $1 billion, most of which was part of one of the largest cocaine seizures in American history.
Lawrence Hashish, the lawyer for Gogic, said: "These charges came as a surprise to him. He maintains his innocence, and had come to the U.S. for a boxing convention in Puerto Rico."
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-charges-former-montenegro-boxer-over-22-ton-1-billion-cocaine-seizure-2022-10-31/
A former heavyweight boxer from Montenegro was charged by the U.S. Department of Justice on Monday with trafficking in 22 tons of cocaine worth over $1 billion, most of which was part of one of the largest cocaine seizures in American history.
Lawrence Hashish, the lawyer for Gogic, said: "These charges came as a surprise to him. He maintains his innocence, and had come to the U.S. for a boxing convention in Puerto Rico."
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-charges-former-montenegro-boxer-over-22-ton-1-billion-cocaine-seizure-2022-10-31/
An American was on holiday in Ireland and was in the pub having a pint. He was chatting to the bar man and asked if there was anyone around that could give him a game of golf on the local course.
The bar man said "Yeah Paddy is very good at golf". The American sat down with Paddy and asked if he wanted to play a game the next day. Paddy said "Ok, I'll meet you at 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day Paddy turns up at 9 with his left hand clubs, plays the American and beats him. The American said "How about another game tomorrow?". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day, Paddy turn up at 9 with his right handed clubs, plays the American and wins convincingly. The American says "Right, how about another game tomorrow! Last game". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late".
The American says "Hold on, you turn up yesterday with left handed clubs, you turn up today with right handed clubs, what's going on?" Paddy replies "When I wake up in the morning, if the missus is laying on her left side, I bring the left handed clubs and if she's laying on her right side, I bring the right haded clubs."
"What about if she's laying on her back?" asked the American. "I'll be half hour late" says Paddy.
The bar man said "Yeah Paddy is very good at golf". The American sat down with Paddy and asked if he wanted to play a game the next day. Paddy said "Ok, I'll meet you at 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day Paddy turns up at 9 with his left hand clubs, plays the American and beats him. The American said "How about another game tomorrow?". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late"
The next day, Paddy turn up at 9 with his right handed clubs, plays the American and wins convincingly. The American says "Right, how about another game tomorrow! Last game". Paddy replies "Yeah sure. I'll be here for 9, but I might be half hour late".
The American says "Hold on, you turn up yesterday with left handed clubs, you turn up today with right handed clubs, what's going on?" Paddy replies "When I wake up in the morning, if the missus is laying on her left side, I bring the left handed clubs and if she's laying on her right side, I bring the right haded clubs."
"What about if she's laying on her back?" asked the American. "I'll be half hour late" says Paddy.
more of a philosophical joke
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."
Doctor I have leaves growing out my arse....Doctor: I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Copper walks in on his wife in bed with three men, 'ello ello ello' he says, wife says 'not speaking to me then?'
1 post
+5 votes
CRIMBO COMPO
I just bought some shoes from a dealer, I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day!
CRIMBO COMPO
Morning folks, guy's and gal's
I'm knocking up my Christmas goodie 📦
The dam thing is gunna be packed out with goodness off my menu and i have a couple extra bits on their way. (Top of the pops grinder)
It will be a Merry Crimbo
So today(16/11/22) we start, all I require is you to post here with your best joke.
To enter you need at least 5 buys in your history on LB and ill run the competition till the 12th December.
Let's have a giggle and you may hit the jackpot!!
I'm knocking up my Christmas goodie 📦
The dam thing is gunna be packed out with goodness off my menu and i have a couple extra bits on their way. (Top of the pops grinder)
It will be a Merry Crimbo
So today(16/11/22) we start, all I require is you to post here with your best joke.
To enter you need at least 5 buys in your history on LB and ill run the competition till the 12th December.
Let's have a giggle and you may hit the jackpot!!
What’s the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath. One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
Garryfl your going to be the winner.
My Mrs is choosing the winner and yours is going to win.
So I'm ending the competition here.
Winner Winner is Garryfl.
Message me your address and I'll get your prize sent out in the morning.
Congratulations
My Mrs is choosing the winner and yours is going to win.
So I'm ending the competition here.
Winner Winner is Garryfl.
Message me your address and I'll get your prize sent out in the morning.
Congratulations
Two old friends are discussing their sex lives. David, 29, has no issues with his wife and gets lucky at least 3 times a week. Jerry, 38, laughs as he recounts that he has sex with his wife almost every day. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday…
An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
‘Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
‘Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
A schoolboy, an old man and Donald Trump are on a plane that is plummeting towards the ground. The captain and copilot have already bailed.
In the cabin they find only 2 parachutes available. Without hesitation, Trump grabs one and jumps out.
With only 1 parachute remaining, the old man turns to the schoolboy and says, "You take the last one, I'm old, whereas you have your whole life ahead of you yet."
The schoolboy replies "It's OK, we have a parachute each, that other guy jumped out with my schoolbag."
In the cabin they find only 2 parachutes available. Without hesitation, Trump grabs one and jumps out.
With only 1 parachute remaining, the old man turns to the schoolboy and says, "You take the last one, I'm old, whereas you have your whole life ahead of you yet."
The schoolboy replies "It's OK, we have a parachute each, that other guy jumped out with my schoolbag."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
Great to see other vendors joining in the Christmas spirit and giving back. Nice 1 Keep it Green 👍
Here’s my joke for fun. Thanks Eddy
What’s a chavs favourite ice cream?
MINT🙃
Here’s my joke for fun. Thanks Eddy
What’s a chavs favourite ice cream?
MINT🙃
……I know this is recycled from some place but it’s a gooden-
How does a stoner recite Shakespeare? “Doobie or not doobie
Sorry it’s as bad the second time around too😂😂😂💪🏼
How does a stoner recite Shakespeare? “Doobie or not doobie
Sorry it’s as bad the second time around too😂😂😂💪🏼
A bear walks into a pub, goes up to the bar and says...........................can I have a pint of lager? Barman replies yes, but why the big pause
Bloke goes into a pet shop and says, can I buy a wasp?
Pet shop owner says, we don't sell wasps!
Bloke says, well you've got two in the window.
🐝🐝🤣😀
Pet shop owner says, we don't sell wasps!
Bloke says, well you've got two in the window.
🐝🐝🤣😀
A recent favourite.....
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "what's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a type O", said the rabbit.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "what's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a type O", said the rabbit.
Two girls are working at the the supermarket.
“You know, I can always tell who the single men are”
“How can you do that?”
“Watch. I’ll show you with the next customer.”
A man approaches the register. He places a tomato, a pork chop, a potato, a tin of beans, a small onion and 4 ready meals on the belt.
“I hope you don't mind me asking, but you’re single, aren’t you?”
“Woah! How did you know? It's the ready meals, isn't it?”
“No, it's cos you're an ugly cunt!”
“You know, I can always tell who the single men are”
“How can you do that?”
“Watch. I’ll show you with the next customer.”
A man approaches the register. He places a tomato, a pork chop, a potato, a tin of beans, a small onion and 4 ready meals on the belt.
“I hope you don't mind me asking, but you’re single, aren’t you?”
“Woah! How did you know? It's the ready meals, isn't it?”
“No, it's cos you're an ugly cunt!”
A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving
The officer asked "how high are you?"
The man replied "no officer, its hi how are you"
The officer asked "how high are you?"
The man replied "no officer, its hi how are you"
I just bought some shoes from a dealer, I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day!
My mum died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
Recycled joke but cheers for the comp!
Recycled joke but cheers for the comp!
An English man, a French man and an Italian man were talking about sex.
French man says " when i make love to my wife and she orgasms she raises 4 inches off the bed"
Italian man says "when I make love to my wife and she orgasms she raises 6 inches off the bed"
English man says, "when me and my wife have finished having sex I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof!" 😆
French man says " when i make love to my wife and she orgasms she raises 4 inches off the bed"
Italian man says "when I make love to my wife and she orgasms she raises 6 inches off the bed"
English man says, "when me and my wife have finished having sex I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof!" 😆
On his 18th bday a dad took his son who had no arms and legs for his 1st beer...
Sitting at the table he sips his beer and suddenly an arm pops out... fucking hell says dad... IKR replied the son... have another says dad...!! So he does and all of a sudden bosh another arm...
So after 4 drinks the son has all limbs and is feeling light headed... I wanna run home and show mum said the son... go for it son says dad... and as soon as the son ran out I to the street he was hit by a car...
Tragically the son died with his dad holding him in his arms saying......
he should have quit while he was a head... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sitting at the table he sips his beer and suddenly an arm pops out... fucking hell says dad... IKR replied the son... have another says dad...!! So he does and all of a sudden bosh another arm...
So after 4 drinks the son has all limbs and is feeling light headed... I wanna run home and show mum said the son... go for it son says dad... and as soon as the son ran out I to the street he was hit by a car...
Tragically the son died with his dad holding him in his arms saying......
he should have quit while he was a head... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you know you are a true stoner?
When your bong gets washed more than your dishes
When your bong gets washed more than your dishes
Best in a Scottish accent -
10 cows standing in a field, which one is closest to Iraq?
….. coo eight
10 cows standing in a field, which one is closest to Iraq?
….. coo eight
Christmas is so stupid…
Whomever invented it should be nailed to a cross. 😂😂🤷♂️🎄🎄
Do love a simple but silly joke 😅 ✌️💚
Whomever invented it should be nailed to a cross. 😂😂🤷♂️🎄🎄
Do love a simple but silly joke 😅 ✌️💚
My best joke atm is KIG got better & healthier produce than law permitted pharmacies that are causing people to have lung infections by selling mould in a tub to them passed as medicine
old boy sitting on a train, girl gets on and sits opposite him. guy leans forward and says 'excuse me, can I smell your cunt?'
Girl, shocked, says 'NO, NO YOU CAN'T YOU FILTHY SHIT'
guy says 'oh sorry, must be your feet then'
Girl, shocked, says 'NO, NO YOU CAN'T YOU FILTHY SHIT'
guy says 'oh sorry, must be your feet then'
What’s the difference between Dirty Harry and anal sex?
One will make your day the other will make hole weak.
One will make your day the other will make hole weak.
I get paid the national minimum wages, 9.50£ for one hour of honest hard work, come on if that's not a joke, I don't know what is 😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😎😎😎
What's the definition of a mixed feeling? Watching your Mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new car
A man smelling of alcohol and weed sat next to a priest on a bus.
The man’s clothes were ragged and dirty, there was pink lipstick on his collar, and an almost empty bottle of rum stuck out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
A few minutes later he turned to the priest and said, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by sinful behavior, spending time with prostitutes, abusing alcohol and drugs, an unclean body and mind, and disrespect for others."
“Damn,” replied the drunk before returning to his paper.
Thinking about what he said, the priest tapped the man on the shoulder and apologized for being too stern. Trying to be empathetic, he asked the man how long he has had arthritis.
The man answered, "I don't have it. I just read here that the Pope suffers from it."
The man’s clothes were ragged and dirty, there was pink lipstick on his collar, and an almost empty bottle of rum stuck out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
A few minutes later he turned to the priest and said, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by sinful behavior, spending time with prostitutes, abusing alcohol and drugs, an unclean body and mind, and disrespect for others."
“Damn,” replied the drunk before returning to his paper.
Thinking about what he said, the priest tapped the man on the shoulder and apologized for being too stern. Trying to be empathetic, he asked the man how long he has had arthritis.
The man answered, "I don't have it. I just read here that the Pope suffers from it."
Three blokes find an old lamp lying by the side of the road, and when they rub it a genie pops out and grants each of them three wishes. "Now tell me," he booms, "what is your first wish?"
The first bloke asks for a billion pounds. The second bloke asks for perfect mental peace and happiness. The third bloke says "I want my left arm to revolve clockwise, all the time, like I was bowling a cricket ball." The other two look at him bewildered, but he just smiles and taps his nose.
The genie says "What is your second wish?" The first bloke asks to be totally irresistible to women. The second bloke asks for perfect physical health until the age of 100. The third bloke says "I want my right arm to revolve anti-clockwise, all the time." The other two stare at him, but again he just smiles smugly.
Finally the genie grants them their third wish. The first guy asks for all his hair to grow back. The second asks for him and his wife to be able to have children at last. The third one says "I want to hop everywhere on one leg, bouncing as high as if I was on a pogo stick." The other two are completely baffled, but again he just taps his nose and smiles.
"OK" says the genie. "Your wishes will come true at midnight tonight" - and he disappears in a puff of smoke. The three men arrange to meet up in a year's time to see how they're all getting on, and then they go their separate ways.
A year later, they meet in the pub. The first man walks in wearing a five thousand pound suit, the keys to a Ferrari in his hand, with long flowing hair and a top model hanging off each arm. "I couldn't be happier," he says. "My life is paradise now."
The second man walks in with a beaming smile, the picture of health, totally relaxed, holding a picture of his baby twins. " I couldn't be happier," he says. "Every day is just wonderful."
Just then, the pub doors fly open and the third man comes bouncing in on one leg, his head banging off the ceiling, with both his arms swinging round and round in opposite directions.
"Guys," he says. "I think I fucked up."
The first bloke asks for a billion pounds. The second bloke asks for perfect mental peace and happiness. The third bloke says "I want my left arm to revolve clockwise, all the time, like I was bowling a cricket ball." The other two look at him bewildered, but he just smiles and taps his nose.
The genie says "What is your second wish?" The first bloke asks to be totally irresistible to women. The second bloke asks for perfect physical health until the age of 100. The third bloke says "I want my right arm to revolve anti-clockwise, all the time." The other two stare at him, but again he just smiles smugly.
Finally the genie grants them their third wish. The first guy asks for all his hair to grow back. The second asks for him and his wife to be able to have children at last. The third one says "I want to hop everywhere on one leg, bouncing as high as if I was on a pogo stick." The other two are completely baffled, but again he just taps his nose and smiles.
"OK" says the genie. "Your wishes will come true at midnight tonight" - and he disappears in a puff of smoke. The three men arrange to meet up in a year's time to see how they're all getting on, and then they go their separate ways.
A year later, they meet in the pub. The first man walks in wearing a five thousand pound suit, the keys to a Ferrari in his hand, with long flowing hair and a top model hanging off each arm. "I couldn't be happier," he says. "My life is paradise now."
The second man walks in with a beaming smile, the picture of health, totally relaxed, holding a picture of his baby twins. " I couldn't be happier," he says. "Every day is just wonderful."
Just then, the pub doors fly open and the third man comes bouncing in on one leg, his head banging off the ceiling, with both his arms swinging round and round in opposite directions.
"Guys," he says. "I think I fucked up."
I heard a rather nice story about a man who drank alot and his wife said "if you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub and drank alot and was sick all over his shirt, and said to his friend "If I go home like this my wife will leave me". His friend said "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill.".
He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving but he says "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, she said "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?", he said "Oh the other is from the man who shat in my pants". 😛😛
He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving but he says "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, she said "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?", he said "Oh the other is from the man who shat in my pants". 😛😛
True story as I witnessed it lol
Jumped out the pub to go to the cash machine with a mate and he nipped round the corner to go for a piss.
30 sec later 5.0 walk up. I’m standing smoking a fag.
Next thing the 5.0 talking to my mate. excuse me you know that’s offence.
Quick as fuck
Looks like a wall to me big man.
Night in the cells for him.
Jumped out the pub to go to the cash machine with a mate and he nipped round the corner to go for a piss.
30 sec later 5.0 walk up. I’m standing smoking a fag.
Next thing the 5.0 talking to my mate. excuse me you know that’s offence.
Quick as fuck
Looks like a wall to me big man.
Night in the cells for him.
Johnny's mum is in the bathroom shaving her bush when Johnny runs in without knocking.
Mum tries to cover up
Johnny says "Mummy where's your sponge?....its gone!"
Mum says " oh... I er... lost it. Now go outside and play"
Off Johnny goes...
He returns in 5 mins and says" mum mum, I've found your sponge!!"
Mum asks" oh where did you find it?"
Johnny replies "the lady next door is washing dad's face with it?
Mum tries to cover up
Johnny says "Mummy where's your sponge?....its gone!"
Mum says " oh... I er... lost it. Now go outside and play"
Off Johnny goes...
He returns in 5 mins and says" mum mum, I've found your sponge!!"
Mum asks" oh where did you find it?"
Johnny replies "the lady next door is washing dad's face with it?
What's the height of embarrassment????
Walking into the wall with a hard-on and breaking your nose 🤣🤣🤣
Walking into the wall with a hard-on and breaking your nose 🤣🤣🤣
2 posts
+6 votes
See others doing this so it’s Competition time at Eddy’s Edibles Bears in the Bag!!!!
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+ 2 more
See others doing this so it’s Competition time at Eddy’s Edibles Bears in the Bag!!!!
Right guys n gals To celebrate my 3rd month on LB and great reviews and messages I’ve received I’m hosting a competition to win the big bag of Bears!!! Its simple to enter comment your number guesses on this post that’s it . How many Bears in the bag winner or closest to number will be announced this Friday 14th Good luck people. As others state 3 buys minimum for the winner so not to have fake accounts.
I've been eying some bits from you for a while now and was waiting for the reviews to come in and it all looks good so far! Glad this little competition got you some views! Your cookies look unbelievable. Maybe pick 5 winners and split what's in the big bag by 5 people? Gets samples out there for you! Good luck!
I was think for multiple correct answers to put it to a vote split or names in a hat winner takes all what do people think?. Leave it up to the winners to decide this anyway . Good luck everyone. Thanks Eddy.
Ok people thanks so much everyone for playing. The winner will be announced 4:30 and bears shipped out before 5pm Stay Lit Thanks Eddy.
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