Haha this is a quality comp..ill give it a go..

Slightly hard of hearing Mr Bailey is walking along a narrow street ( think York shambles), when a commotion on the other side catches his eye, curious he crosses over to find out what's occurring.
He soon finds that a short man (uncle wala) is trying help another man off the ground and politely asks if he needed a hand.. the conversation follows..
Mr B..' excuse me sir, but would you like a hand'
Uncle w ' why how lovely of you to offer, please could you help me help this this man find his feet'
Mr B ' receipt? Receipt for what?, perhaps he is sitting on it'
Uncle w ' not receipt, find his feet'
Mr B ' but I can't lift his feet, otherwise we won't get him up to find the receipt'
Uncle W ' no no no, there is no receipt sir, I need him on his feet'
Mr B 'why would you knee this poor man, what's the matter with you?, I think I should call the police'

At the mention of the police, man on ground jumps up and says, 'not the police, and turns to uncle w and says, in a very lethargic way, ' jeez weedy wala, that is the best blunt I've had in years, I want to hug you'

Mr B looks astonished, and turns to uncle W and cries, ' good grief man, run quickly, this man wants to mug you, now I know why you kneed him, and don't worry, I was a scrapper back in my day' before pushing uncle W to the side and lamping the clearly still wasted other man so hard he drops back to the ground and passes out..

Uncle W, turns and says 'my goodness, why on earth did you do that you fool'

Mr B replies, ' why thank you, its a long time since I was called cool, I think I quite like this place' before turning and leaving to walk back across the road, leaving a very confused uncle wala to try and revive his stoned and now knockout friend..

Lol, tried to keep it short, but that one could run for ages..

When's the draw😅 I might try another when I have more time🤣

Script: "Kurta Wala Meets Mr. Butterworth"

Scene: A small, chaotic tea shop in East London. Behind the counter is Kurta Wala, flamboyant and full of energy. In walks Mr. Clive Butterworth, a stiff-upper-lip British gentleman in tweed.


---

Kurta Wala: Arrey! Welcome to Kurta Wala’s Tea and Everything Emporium! What can I do for you, babu? Chai, samosas, or just my charming company?

Mr. Butterworth: (adjusting monocle) I heard Cur8Resin’s your go-to vendor on LittleBiggy. I’m here to inquire.

Kurta Wala: Ah, Cur8Resin! Top-notch, best on LittleBiggy. But babu, no business without chai. Sit. You need my Kurta Wala Special first.

Mr. Butterworth: (hesitant) I don’t see why—

Kurta Wala: (dramatic) No chai, no life! Trust me, babu, one sip, and you’ll feel like James Bond in a Bollywood movie.

(Mr. Butterworth reluctantly sits. Kurta Wala brews chai with flair, sliding it over with a grin.)

Kurta Wala: Here you go—ginger, cardamom, cinnamon, and a sprinkle of jazbaati magic!

Mr. Butterworth: (takes a sip, eyes widen) Good grief… this is exceptional!

Kurta Wala: Told you! Now, Cur8Resin—best stuff, handpicked with love. Found it on LittleBiggy myself.

Mr. Butterworth: (suspicious) And this jazbaati magic?

Kurta Wala: (winks) Family secret! But no hash—unless you ask.

Mr. Butterworth: (splutters) Good heavens! This place is absurd.

Kurta Wala: (laughing) Relax, babuji! Just jokes. Now take some samosas for the road. They pair perfectly with a Cur8Resin delivery.

Mr. Butterworth: (grumbling, eating a samosa) Utter madness. But I may… return.

Kurta Wala: (shouting after him) Don’t forget—five stars for Kurta Wala and Cur8Resin on LittleBiggy!


---

[End Scene]

Winning so far! Hilarious

😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣

Title: "The Adventures of Hash Wala"

Scene: A dimly lit street corner in London. It’s a typical chilly evening. We hear the distant sound of the hustle and bustle of London traffic. A sign reads “Hash Wala’s Corner Shop.” The shop is small, messy, and full of oddities—mismatched chairs, a cracked teapot, and a big sign with “HASH WALA” scribbled in chalk. A very British gentleman, Sir Reginald Fiddlesticks, in his tweed suit, monocle, and top hat, approaches the shop. Inside, behind the counter, is Hash Wala, an eccentric, energetic Indian man with a giant bushy mustache, wearing an old kurta, and constantly surrounded by smoke from his mysterious "melty hash."

[The bell above the door rings as Sir Reginald enters the shop.]

Sir Reginald: (In a posh British accent) Good heavens! What is this place? It smells like a blend of incense, potpourri, and... what, might I ask, is that peculiar odour?

Hash Wala: (Squints through smoke, grinning wide) Ah! Welcome, welcome, my dear Sir! You’ve arrived at Hash Wala’s very own corner of... enlightenment! The finest hash, the finest tea, and the finest company you’ll ever find! (He laughs, coughing slightly from the smoke.)

Sir Reginald: (Looks around skeptically) I see, yes. It smells like my old uncle's beard after a night at the local pub. Quite pungent. What exactly is it you serve here, my good man?

Hash Wala: (Suddenly gets very serious) What do I serve? I serve... magic! I serve... history! I serve... a jolly good time! (He dramatically throws his arms up in the air, knocking over a jar of something sticky.) I serve you, my friend, the melty hash! It melts your worries away!

Sir Reginald: (Frowning) Melty hash, you say? What does it... melt exactly?

Hash Wala: (Leaning in and whispering conspiratorially) Melt your mind, melt your troubles, melt your reality, my dear chap. (He waves a hand, as if summoning mystical forces.) You see, the hash is not just any hash. It’s a hash of the finest quality, with a little British twist. I call it... ‘Hash of the Empire.’ (He sniffs the air, looking proud.)

Sir Reginald: (Tilts his monocle, looking slightly horrified) 'Hash of the Empire'? That's... well, quite odd, old fellow. Is it edible, or do I need a shovel and a spade to dig through it?

Hash Wala: (Laughs heartily, slapping the counter) Oh, Sir! It's far more than edible! It's... it's like the Queen’s corgis after a run in the park—fluffy, wonderful, and slightly disorienting! You see, this hash has the power to make you rethink everything. It's not just a snack; it's an experience.

Sir Reginald: (Raises an eyebrow) I’m not certain I wish to rethink everything. I’m quite fond of my current thinking, thank you. I quite like knowing which fork to use at dinner.

Hash Wala: (Laughing wildly) Forks? Oh, you mean those things that are too delicate for the real work? Here, we use our hands! And we enjoy the real experience of life! (He points to a huge jar of suspicious-looking green goo on the shelf.) Try a dab of this, my dear Sir. It’s called ‘The Sceptre’s Delight.’

Sir Reginald: (Leaning back) Ahem, ‘The Sceptre’s Delight,’ you say? That sounds more like a British scandal than a snack. Do I need a passport to sample it?

Hash Wala: (Grinning even wider) Nah, nah, mate! You just need an open mind and a sense of adventure! (He grabs a spoon and scoops out a small portion of the goo, offering it to Sir Reginald.) Go on, have a taste! It’ll make you feel like you're flying over Buckingham Palace with a cup of tea in hand!

Sir Reginald: (Glaring at the spoon) I’m afraid I’ve never been fond of flying, especially over palaces... But very well, just a small taste.

[Sir Reginald hesitates, then tentatively takes a bite of the goo. His eyes widen.]

Sir Reginald: (Eyes darting around, starting to sway slightly) Blimey! What in tarnation is this? It’s like... it’s like I can hear the Queen’s voice in my head saying, ‘Reginald, do stop acting so stiff and get on with it.’

Hash Wala: (Nods sagely, puffing out more smoke) Exactly, exactly! You’re getting it now! You see, this hash isn’t just about the flavours, it’s about unlocking your true potential! The world suddenly feels like... like one big garden party!

Sir Reginald: (In a daze, speaking very slowly) By Jove, I do believe... I just saw a crow wearing a bow tie. And was that Big Ben... dancing?

Hash Wala: (Nodding, amused) Yes, my friend! That’s the magic of the Hash Wala special! You can see things you’ve never seen before! Think things you’ve never thought before! Like... maybe you’ll realize that you don’t need all these fancy clothes and manners. You could just wear a kurta and be free, like me!

Sir Reginald: (Looking down at his suit, then staring at Hash Wala’s kurta) A kurta, you say? Well, I never thought I’d... but you know, it does look rather comfortable... and colourful. Perhaps I’ll take a set. But first, what in the world is that noise coming from your kettle?

Hash Wala: (Hears a strange buzzing noise) Ah, the tea kettle! It's the ‘Saffron Surprise’ brewing. It sings to you when it’s ready! It’s a symphony for the soul, my good Sir! (He rushes to the kettle, which is now emitting a high-pitched hum.)

Sir Reginald: (Laughing) Well, I’ll be! A tea kettle with musical aspirations? Perhaps I’ve finally lost my mind!

Hash Wala: (Chuckling) Oh, Sir, you haven’t lost it. You’ve just found it in a completely new place!

[Both burst into laughter, the room filled with smoke and the scent of tea.]

Sir Reginald: (Giggling uncontrollably) By Jove! I do believe this is the most insane tea party I’ve ever had!

Hash Wala: (Grinning) Welcome to the Hash Wala experience, old sport! Where the party never stops... and the hash never melts... well, at least not completely!

[The scene fades out with them laughing, the kettle whistling, and the sound of Big Ben’s faint jiggling tune in the distance.]

A bustling street corner with a vibrant, makeshift stall decorated with psychedelic tapestries. Uncle Hash Wala, a jovial man in a wildly colorful kurta, sits on a wobbly stool rolling the fattest joint you’ve ever seen. His hookah bubbles ominously in the background. Enter Sir Wigglesworth, an old-school British gentleman with a monocle, a bowler hat, and an umbrella as polished as his upper lip.

Sir Wigglesworth: (adjusting monocle) Good heavens! What is this peculiar establishment? Smells like… rebellion wrapped in questionable legality.

Uncle Hash Wala: (grinning widely) Ah, welcome, Lord Monocle of Proper Manners! You’re just in time. You want a joint? Hookah? Or some unsolicited existential advice? Uncle Hash Wala has it all!

Sir Wigglesworth: (sniffs cautiously) A joint, you say? I was merely inquiring about directions.

Uncle Hash Wala: Directions? Arre, easy! Straight to the stars, courtesy of this. (holds up the joint like it’s Excalibur) First puff is free, but the vibes? Priceless.

Sir Wigglesworth: (adjusting bowler hat nervously) I… I haven’t partaken in such indulgences since the Queen’s youth.

Uncle Hash Wala: (laughing) Then you’re overdue, my lord! Trust me, this one will make you see the world in Technicolor and make your bowler hat sing karaoke.

Sir Wigglesworth: (squinting) And what, pray tell, is in this… creation?

Uncle Hash Wala: (leans in conspiratorially) The finest herb, my friend, sourced from Cur8Resin on littlebiggy.com! Only the smoothest, purest, most high-class high. Perfect for a gentleman such as yourself.

Sir Wigglesworth: (intrigued) Cur8Resin, you say? What makes it so special?

Uncle Hash Wala: (dramatic) Special? It’s the Rolls-Royce of resin! Smooth as your Queen’s wave and potent enough to make your umbrella do the Macarena. Available exclusively on littlebiggy.com.

Sir Wigglesworth: (stroking chin) Sounds rather compelling. Very well, I shall try… this joint.

Uncle Hash Wala: (hands over the joint) Here you go, Sir High-glesworth. One puff, and you’ll feel lighter than colonial guilt.

Sir Wigglesworth cautiously takes a puff. His monocle immediately pops out, his bowler hat does a somersault, and he starts giggling uncontrollably.

Sir Wigglesworth: (through laughter) By Jove! This is… astonishing! I feel as though I’ve just ridden a rainbow over a field of dancing unicorns!

Uncle Hash Wala: (smug) Told you, my friend. This is more than a joint; it’s a journey. Now imagine this quality every time with Cur8Resin. Your butler will thank you.

Sir Wigglesworth: (giggling) Oh, you’re a peculiar chap, but you’ve certainly won me over. I shall visit littlebiggy.com immediately!

Uncle Hash Wala: (bows dramatically) That’s the spirit! Don’t forget to leave a five-star review for Cur8Resin and tell your Queen to legalize the vibes.

They both burst into laughter as Sir Wigglesworth exits, skipping down the street and twirling his umbrella like a baton. Uncle Hash Wala leans back, lighting up his own joint, a job well done

"Hash Wala's Delights"**

*Scene: A quaint, shabby little street corner in London. A small, steam-emitting cart sits beside a busy sidewalk. A large sign reads: "Hash Wala's Specialty - The Best Melty Hash in Town!" The cart is run by an eccentric old man, **Uncle Hash Wala**, who has wild hair, a thick accent, and a wide grin.*

*Enter: An old British gentleman in a tweed suit, bowler hat, and monocle, clearly out of place. His name is **Sir Reginald Crumpetworth**, a prim and proper fellow with an air of dignified confusion.*

---

**Sir Reginald**: (lifting monocle to his eye, inspecting the cart)
"Ah, good day, good sir. I say, what is this curious contraption? And what, pray tell, is 'melty hash'?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (beaming with pride, his hands moving in exaggerated motions as he explains)
"Ah, my friend! You’ve just stumbled upon the finest delicacy of the century. This, Sir, is **Hash Wala’s World-Famous Melty Hash!** It's... well, it's *sort* of like a hash, but it melts like a dream! Very popular among the young and the old, but especially among those with a *very* specific appreciation for, um... *unconventional relaxation.*" (winks)

**Sir Reginald**: (puzzled)
"Relaxation, you say? I must admit, I’m more of a fan of a good Earl Grey and a game of croquet. This... 'melty hash'... isn't that some sort of culinary... *invention* gone awry?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (laughs heartily)
"Invention? Invention, my dear chap! This is not invention, this is a *revolution* of flavours! It’s all-natural, non-GMO, 100% organic relaxation... straight from the garden of life itself!"

**Sir Reginald**: (still skeptical)
"Hm, I do enjoy a good garden, but I’m rather partial to a bit of fresh thyme, you know? Are you suggesting I’d feel... ‘relaxed’ after sampling this... *melty hash*?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (gesturing dramatically)
"Relaxed? You’ll be floating, my good man! You’ll be walking on air, feeling as light as a feather, like a cloud on a sunny day! You won’t even need your monocle to see the world in a whole new light! You’ll be... well, let’s say, you’ll be more 'open to the vibes.'"

**Sir Reginald**: (raising an eyebrow, slightly intrigued)
"Open to the vibes, you say? Well, I do suppose I could use a bit of... *vibe-opening* in my life. What does it cost? Surely not more than my annual subscription to the Gentleman's Club of Mildly Controversial Opinions?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (snaps his fingers)
"Ah, for you, my friend, a special price. Two pounds and fifty pence for a serving that will change your life. Or, at the very least, make you forget about it for a few hours."

**Sir Reginald**: (hesitant but intrigued, pulls out wallet)
"Two pounds, eh? Well, one must support local... *innovations*, I suppose. But I do hope this isn't one of those things that makes you... *question your existence*?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (grins mischievously)
"Question your existence? Nah, my friend. You’ll just be too busy enjoying the snack to worry about your existence. It’s like a vacation for your mind! Don’t ask questions, just eat, and let the world do its thing!"

**Sir Reginald**: (takes a deep breath)
"Well, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ve survived three failed marriages and a suspiciously awful round of golf. I'll give it a go."

(He hands over the money, takes a bite of the melty hash, and after a moment, his face lights up.)

**Sir Reginald**: (staring into the distance)
"By Jove, I do believe I’m *floating*... This is... this is absolutely *marvellous*! I feel as though I’ve just become one with the universe, and the universe... smells faintly of... coriander and... lavender?"

**Uncle Hash Wala**: (grinning widely)
"See? I told you, mate. Welcome to the Hash Wala experience. No turning back now!"

**Sir Reginald**: (nodding serenely, clearly in another dimension)
"Why, I think I’ll cancel that subscription to the Gentleman’s Club. Too stiff, too proper. This... this... *melty hash* is the real deal!"

---

*Scene fades with Sir Reginald wandering off, blissfully humming, as Uncle Hash Wala watches him go with a satisfied smile.*

Recently Roo and his grandad were out for lunch and bumped into Abs' uncle Kurta and as Roo suspected...gramps was gona be gramps.
Roo>how's things uncle kurta,this is my grampa Joe.
Kurta>hi Mr Wain nice to meet you.
Gramps>he's no yer uncle why ye callin him uncle?
Roo>sighs
Kurta>haha its a family thing just call me Hash.
Gramps> Wit? Hash as in like the old wacky backy haha?
Kurta>got it in one haha.
Gramps>well lovely to meet ye Hash son,yer nephew's a brilliant boy.
Kurta>cheers old fella,you're looking very dapper with your suit on.
Gramps>aye no as much as you son. Give my Roo some bloody fashion tips!
Kurta>hahaha the young fella can't pull of this wardrobe
Roo>sighs..what a day its been already...

2 people took part so far and this challenge is up till Friday

3 x 1g giveaways

So yes that’s 3 possible winners champs

British man: “I say let’s eat in here Uncle kurtas Bazaar.
Uncle Kurta: afternoon good sir my apologies but I feel our food is a little spicy for you
British man: Piffle old bean I will eat anything you eat
Uncle: ok sir please enjoy but I am warning you
British man: I say Mr Kurta would you have some milk or maybe a little smoke to take the edge off
- passes a rolled joint
Uncle : I am warning you again sir this is very special smoking very strong
British man: Damn you Kurta I will smoke anything you smoke
10 minutes later new customer walks in
Uncle : hello sir please this way , don’t mind Mr smith he is very tired .

the vision in my head was comical 🤣

😅😂😂 lol yes can try anything all macho then knocked out after a joint haha

Thanks for the giveaway dude 👍

F it bro you win a g too

why not since you put the effort

I'm confused, did I win a g as well? 😂

Lol yes send me ur full name and address in messages champ

Oh really that's great man thanks alot

haha this ones fucking hilarious with the facial expression

👌 thanks for the giveaways

THIS ONE WINS LOVE THAT YOU PUT MY NAME ON IT REAL KURTA DONE WITH THE MELTY HASH HERE <3

PM ME WITH UR ADDRESS AND NAME BRO